Halong Bay, Vietnam, 5 - 7 July 2012

After attempts at bargaining and trying to wait out a deal to get on Jos boat, I missed the boat (bu-dum-tsh) and Jen and I had to get another one. We went for one called Dugong which had a similar itinerary as Jos and the hotels on Cat Ba island were close to each other. Jo got picked up first in a transit minibus, and we got picked up later in a standard big minibus by a bloke who smelt like he'd had a big night before. The bus was full of various nationalities but it was early, so not much chatting and a lot of dozing for 4 hours to Ha Long. We left the rain in Hanoi and arrived at the dock in blistering sunshine, a good omen for the trip. A little boat ferried us to our big boat, which looked quite good, although unlike all of the brochures and pictures of the trips in Hanoi, the boats didn't have their little oriental sails up, and they weren't dark coloured with lots of wood on show, but completely painted white. Inside was 3 levels. The bottom was the rooms and kitchen, above the bar, and above that the sun-deck. The rooms were nice, lots of teak effect on show with en suite, twin beds and air-con. Lunch was served shortly after we boarded, and the unusual mix of chips, rice, chicken with veg, fried bread and omelette was brought out. Strange mix, but very good. After some grub and a bit of chatting, we went to the Surprising Cave which is 3 interconnected caves formed in limestone with lots of stalamites and stalagtites. Our guide insisted on pointing out ubiquitous looking formations and making us guess what they looked like, us always getting them wrong, especially the big lucky turtle that looked like an unlucky looking pile of cow poo. We left and got back on the little boat that took us to a few floating houses (not quite big enough to justify as village) where we got in double kayaks and went for a paddle. I confess I got a little frustrated as Jen was behind me and swore she was in time with me, but no matter, we seemed to keep changing course suddenly and often. We had a good explore though and saw some cool little caves, one of which the floating houses decided would be a prime spot to plant their satellite dish! We made it back and got back on the boat and went across to a little man-made beach on a small island. The beach was packed with Chinese/Vietnamese tourists when we arrived, all in their far-too-tight-budgie-smugglers throwing sand at each other (bloody odd). The crowds soon departed and we had a lot of the beach to ourselves, so the lanky aussie in our group tried to hire a ball so we could play volleyball, but they wanted something like USD5 to hire it for 20 mins! We all got back on the big boat and I decided to go find out about the price of the beer while Jen showered. It was USD2 per can (which is a LOT over here), so we hailed a woman in a little paddle boat over. They all sell all sorts of bits and pieces including beer! We got her down to USD1.20 each and a load of bought a shedload from her. Jen and I with Adam the Surrey plumber, Joe the lanky aussie, Mike the jock and one of the girls sat on top deck relaxing as darkness descended drinking our smuggled beers (which were perfectly cold to boot). Dinner was similar fare to lunch, but with more dishes including squid, another chicken dish and fish. After dinner and chatting around the table I still hadn't showered, so Jen and I went to our room, she read for a bit while I cleaned myself up. The fatigue got to us though as we both passed out on our beds and woke the next morning. Breakfast was taken early then we were told to pack up and get ready to go to the island. The bloke was only expecting 6 people to go to Cat Ba though, so was surprised and useless dealing with the extra 10 people telling him they were supposed to be going too. In the end those who booked to go just jumped into the boat before he could argue. We got into a minibus and were taken to Cat Ba National Park for a hike up to a summit. This wasn't really presented as optional or difficult. Quite a few barely made it up the hour climb and everyone was saturated in sweat. Nice view from the top though, then on the very narrow descent I stopped as some people going up passed, and the two French girls from tubing in Vang Vieng recognised me from when I bandaged up one of their legs and helped them to shore! Small world! We got back down, back on the bus and to Cat Ba town. More crappy organisation meant that our hotel was already booked up, so we were put in the hotel across the road. The rooms were ok but it was nowhere near as nice of a hotel as where we were supposed to stay, but it was only one night. We were to be fed in the original hotel anyway, so was ok. We ate then had an hour til a bus took us to Monkey Island. Jen is petrified of monkeys, so she decided to go in search of the beach and meet up again in a couple of hours. We had to take another boat out through a huge floating village to Monkey Island, then you had the choice of relaxing in the sea and on the beach or walking up to the top of the island to try and see the monkeys. Mike and a couple of others went walking whilst the majority of us stayed messing around in the water. After 10 mins we saw a monkey come right up to the edge of the beach. A further 20 mins later the others got back from their walk to report they'd seen sweet F.A. They weren't disappointed though as two more came down towards the beach before we left. Got back to land and the hotel and I found Jen in the room. She hadn't found the beach, but had got a bit lost and made herself a bit ill from being out in the sun so long without drinking. She stayed in the cool with a big bottle of water while I went in search of Jos hotel. I found it; the poshest on the strip, and spoke to 2 people in their rooms but couldn't reach her, so I left her a note. Later transpired that they were at that moment having their own troubles with getting a room sorted so had no set room. I went back to the waterside and sat looking out at the harbour and the sunset drinking Tiger beer. After dinner Jen was feeling faint and off still so I went to meet Jo and the others at their hotel. We all went out and they had dinner, and we all swapped stories, then found a bar with some life and happy hour! After a couple of hours a load of the guys from my boat turned up too out of the suddenly pouring rain. At around 12.30 Jo and the others decided to call it a night as they had to be up very early the next day. I walked them all back, then walked back to the bar again for a couple more drinks with my boat! Next day the rain from the previous night was only an introduction to the full blown storm now raging, and only 5 of our boat made breakfast. We then left for the boat half an hour late because our guide was absolutely useless, huffing and puffing, standing around in the wrong hotel. We told him the missing people were in the other hotel (that HE had arranged), and he eventually went over there but did nothing again, blaming "our friends". We told him we had only met them the day previously and that we didn't know what room they were in and it was HIS job to rally the group! Vietnamese organisation; love it. No logic. No common sense. Just blame. We got dropped off at the ridiculously tiny wharf (big enough for only 3 boats yet the jetty was over 100m long so could have built loads of landing bays) and clambered over 2 boats to get onto a boat (but not ours) to take us to land. Our amazing guide then got in a huff AGAIN because a English girl who was on our Perfume Pagoda trip was told by one of his colleagues to follow him, but he had no idea of how to deal with this despite it not really making any difference to him. We chatted and ate lunch on the boat, then got in another bus to whisk us back to Hanoi. We arrived in Hanoi at 5ish, and sat down for some grub before the nightbus in one of our favourite places, Gecko, where we met up with Jo and Liv. Next stop Hoi An via Hue!

Vang Vieng, Laos, 12-17 June 2012

We arrived in Vang Vieng after a very twisting and nausea inducing minibus from Luang Prabang. As luck would have it, we were in the same bus as Verena and the 4 Israelis as well as a Spaniard and Portuguese guy and a paddy couple. The latter 4 opted to stay at the guesthouse we were dropped outside whereas us others decided to look for something more central and cheaper. After far too much wandering around, we got a double room with a killer fan for £2 per night and right in the centre. We spent the remainder of the afternoon/evening watching How I Met Your Mother in the bar and drinking. Next day we decided to go tubing, but the Israelis didn't, so we left them to it, and after brekkie (and more HIMYM) we wandered down to ask about tubes and tuk-tuks to the start. We asked the right people as a Canadian couple said they were going too and their group were in a bar round the corner and for us to join in. We wandered round and found a bar going nuts full of people doing buckets and absinthe. We were handed a few buckets, I had a couple of absinthe, and we all had a dentist chair of Tiger Whisky before we even made it to the start of the tubing. These guys were further confirming that the some of the friendliest people to meet travelling are Canadians. From here in it gets a bit hazy. I remember 3 bars, jumping off some bloody high platforms, Jo flashing her boob as she tried to get out of the water, lots of bracelets, rope swings, loads of buckets, spray-painting each other, beer pong, floating about in a tube, whisky shots, running into the Spaniard who had a massive scratch across his face claiming a wolf did it, and the beautiful scenery as we floated down the river from the last bar to the end. I do vividly remember 2 French girls getting out of the water as we did, and one smashing her beer bottle and slashing her own knee in one movement. It started pissing blood so badly her whole lower leg was red, so I bandaged her up with my t-shirt and chatted French with them, but then when they asked where I was from and how I spoke French I suddenly couldn't remember anything in French anymore and couldn't utter another word! We got our tubes back with a minute to spare before we lost our deposit, wandered back to the bar where I can't remember what we ate or drank, and went to bed for a kip (it was only about 7.30). Jo woke me at 10pm, though I thought it was 10am, so when she said we were meeting Verena for a drink I bottled it and stayed in bed! The next day we were obviously awake pretty early, so we got some brekkie, hired some bikes and made for the blue lagoon some 6km away. Was a cool little place with lots of branches to jump off and rope swings and things, and a group of 50-something Aussies who we had apparently met tubing the previous day, though we couldn't remember that! After half an hour the Canadians turned up too. They were as battered and bruised as we were with similar unexplainable injuries. We chilled out there for a while, then as we cycled home 2 little local girls jumped a lift on the back of Verena and Jos bikes, cheeky sods! We spent the rest of the day doing not much, though we were grateful for the tv in our room with HBO showing movies. That night we went out to Bucket bar, where Jo returned from the bar with 5 buckets for free. We then tried another 2 bars but they were dead, so we returned to Bucket bar, had another drink, before Jo and Verena headed off to check another bar while I watched to footy for a bit before heading back to the room feeling crap from all the Tiger Whisky. Next morning we all felt crap. We did work out that Jo and I spent about £2 between us the night before though and ended up spanked! We did nothing at all really, I went and sat in another bar and watched Family Guy while Jo shopped for vests, then we watched about 5 hours of HIMYM! Following morning the weather had turned, so we were happy to leave, getting the short busride to the capital Vientiane.

Luang Prabang, Hanoi, Laos & Vietnam, 27 - 29 June 2012

Another day, another night-bus, or so it was starting to feel like. I've lost count of the sleepless nights in transit by road, and I wasn't left wanting once again. Our bus, which was a little plusher than before with sort of airline seats that fold almost flat but barely any legroom, left Luang Prabang at 6ish, and was due into Hanoi the same time the following day. By 8ish it was dark and most people were dozing, and I tried to join in, but my stupid great caucasian body wasn't designed for the kiddy-seat I was being crammed. I saw every hour around snatches of sleep, and we arrived at the Vietnam border at about 4am, so at least we weren't getting rocked about. Then some dickhead decided he wanted to listen to a song at full blare at 6.30 despite everyone still trying to sleep around him, so I whacked his arm and made a sign which to me meant "turn it off", but in hindsight I think he read as "I'm going to cut your head off". No matter, it worked. The border was another crappy no-mans-land where I guess both countries say "that's not our land" and leave it as a dirt-track. Took 2 hours to stamp a load of travellers passports, though I'm sure the guy was just opening them all up to the pictures and making them talk to each other and kiss and stuff. Back on the bus we stopped for something to eat which we opted for egg, rice and unnamable vegetable, though I pity some others who opted for pork, as the "pork" hanging up out back near the toilets (doubling as a kitchen) looked a lot like a staffordshire bull terrier. I then spent the next 6 hours laying on the floor as it was the only way I could lay down properly. 2 locals got off with 3 drinks bottles with live birds in, that they had obviously smuggled in, but not under their own seats, they got 2 travellers sat next to us to get up and produced them from under their seats. Around 7 we were told to get off the bus in the middle of nowhere, though it turned out so to get on another bus, but this one had been in a crash (that day) and had 2 big windows smashed in on the side, and glass all over the adjacent seats and floor. We eventually got off in Hanoi a total of 28 hours after setting off, and stayed at the first place we came across as it was cheap enough for us. With pretty much no evening left, we had a short walk to see what was available to eat and then went to bed. The following morning we found another cheaper place to stay, and went wandering. I found the bus I needed to get to meet Jen at the airport, and we walked all the way down to a mall with cinema. I don't know why, but we ended up watching The Amazing Spiderman. Probably because it was only $2. Was a good way to pass the hottest part of the day, and on the way back to the Old Quarter we stopped off for some Vietnamese fare and beer.

Pakse, Vang Vieng, Luang Prabang, Laos, 23 - 27 June 2012

After the slight disappointment of Don Det and the 4000 Islands, we began the long slog all the way North again. This started with a boat across the Mekong to land which then docked on a rubbish covered bank instead of the dock for some reason, so we wobbled off the teetering skiff with our big bags, and sweated our way to the minibus to take us to Pakse. We arrived at the bus station at 3pm, but our sleeper bus wasn't to leave until 8pm, so we left our bags and wandered off in search of a cafe or restaurant to chill out for a few hours. Somehow the beds on the sleeper bus seemed to have shrunk further, but I managed to get us put onto a bed made for abnormally skinny and tall people, but it at least meant I could stretch out my legs. As we'd already taken this journey, we knew how bad it was, and we weren't disappointed; I don't think it was a metalled road for more than 5 minutes of the 10 hours. Finally got into Vientiene at 6ish, then booked ANOTHER bus to Vang Vieng at 10.30am which was well overbooked, so a dozen of us sat on the side of the road to wait "15 minutes" until 12.30 for the next one. After a lot of travelling we finally rolled into a rainy Vang Vieng at 4ish. Jo remembered the name of some place from a chat with the Israelis, so we checked it out and got a huge room with air con for next-to-nothing after a bit of haggling. We had a late lunch in our old haunt Central Backpackers whilst Jo ummed and ahhed over when we should leave for Luang Prabang while I watched Friends and made committed and concerned noises. The weather was rainy and crap, so we (Jo) decided we'd get the bus the next morning. We had every intention of going to Bucket Bar that evening for free buckets and a bit of a party, but the weather coupled with the travelling made us really dozy, so after a drink and a pancake we chilled out in the room listening to music. After an unremarkable bus journey, we got to Luang Prabang in the afternoon, and after some bargaining and looking at rooms, we decided to go back to Oudomlith where Mike greeted us and showed us to our old room again. We relaxed, showered, wandered around the night market, and went down the cheap food street for a massive dinner for 80p. The next day was Jos birthday, but we'd agreed no presents, so we started the day with breakfast baguette and smoothie, then we hired some bikes and cycled around the town looking at more Vat and That that we'd missed (temples), then got some cake for lunch, but even with all the French influence, Laos people can't quite do cakes. We both got a massage, and that night we went to a restaurant for the first time in ages for dinner (courtesy of Kristina) before a bit of birthday shopping on the night market. Jo was a little apprehensive she'd feel homesick or not enjoy her birthday, but we were in the best place for it and she had a great day. Next day we did very little, lots of popping out to get food, or do washing and stuff, and we booked our bus tickets to Hanoi (flights were too expensive). Despite doing so little, it was another really nice day, Luang Prabang is such an easy place to pass the time. Spent another evening walking the night market looking for some trousers for Jo, (she didn't find any, just another dress). The 27th was our last day in Laos, and we arranged with Mike that we could have our room until 5pm as our bus wasn't until 6pm. We lounged around all morning drinking coffee, packing our bags, and watching James Bond. The day was a real scorcher, so we spent the day in perpetual movement between the astonishingly humid streets and the cool air-con solace of the room. We took a tuk-tuk to the bus station and eyed up our new home for the next 24 hours to Hanoi!

Shanghai, China, 16 - 20 May 2012

Arrived in Shanghai early and used the metro this time to find the hostel to stop any "ooh, is this our stop? I don't know, everything's written in Chinese" bus journeys. The hostel was The Phoenix and was in a great location and only a short walk to Peoples Square, so we showered and headed out for a wander. We eventually made it back to the hostel 6 hours later after a lovely exploratory walk, which became a slightly confused meander, and escalated quickly into a "where the bloody hell are we" trudge. Made it back tired slept well, and had breakfast in a bakery on the corner. Croissants and coffee later, we walked to and along the Bund. This is just a big embankment which was made on the river so that the ships could dock, and as all the money was there, the banks were also built. Quite nice with all of the grand skyscrapers of steel dominating the skyline, and below the old banks of brick and stone. When the Chinese had their own national bank built, their only want was that the building was higher than it's European built neighbours. They failed twofold; the result was a brick monolith with no imagination in its design, it only stands out due to its lack of anything interesting to contribute to the Bund, and the roof designed didn't sit properly and so when adapted to work it didn't sit the highest as intended.  
Some nice views of modern China (with a strong ex-patriate flourish), and lots of brides and grooms having pictures taken in the sunshine. We walked further North across a lovely old bridge of which the Chinese had actually bolstered the name of the town of production from the steel. I assume that it was Sheffield or something from Shanghais history, but can't confirm this.
We took the metro to the French Concession which used to be the playground of artistes, gangsters and whores, but now is full of malls of western brands. We were looking for a small maze of backstreets called Tianzifang. This had lots of touristy shops, some kitsch shops, little bars and restaurants and a lot of Chinese charm. It wasn't entirely authentic, was being put on for us, but a pretty little place. We decided against paying the inflated prices in one of these places and found a real Chinese chopshop a few doors down doing big steamed dumplings with pork and spring onion, and pak choi, spinach and garlic. Then found a place with BOGOF ice coffees which were a great ease to weary feet in intense heat.
Next day the plan was to get to the train station to buy tickets, then head to old town, but we couldn't extend our stay at our hostel, so had to pack up and move out. We ended up in The Captain right on the Bund which was crap to be honest. The staff were uninterested, next to no facilities, and our "mixed dorm" we booked online apparently didn't exist so we didn't even get to stay in the same room. The place boasted a rooftop bar, but this was stupidly overpriced, about £4.50 a beer when everywhere else I'd paid 60p to £1 tops.
We booked train tickets for the 32 hour epic to be to Chengdu 2 days later and as we walked back with the evening and weather closing in, Jos mood got worse and she got a little upset. Nothing serious, she was just a little homesick, and tired of moving on all the time. Travelling is great fun, but it can really tire you out, so she had a little cry on my shoulder. It didn't help that Shanghai isn't really anything new and exciting. It's a prosperous city but very Western and impersonal. Anyway, in an ironic sentiment, I treated her to a Starbucks, which did the trick and cheered her up. We then bought some tickets to the Shanghai Acrobatic Show for the following night. I spent the rest of the evening battling to backup our photos (heard way too many horror stories!).
Next day we decided we'd book ourselves back in at the Phoenix as the Captain was a dive with strange people staying there who blowdried their hair at 2am and 2 western girls who looked a lot to me like prostitutes. So in the rain, we took our big bags back to the Phoenix and then headed out to wander yet more shops and malls. We stumbled across a cinema in one mall with really cheap seats to see The 3 Musketeers in 3D, but proper 3D glasses, not the crappy disposables we have at home. This did not make a horrifically bad movie any better though sadly, and I left the cinema feeling dirty and that the money would've been better spent being farted into the wind for 90mins.
After the cinema we decided to go to the Old Town despite the weather. Getting out of the station into the rain we wimped out and dived straight into McDonalds for a coffee and cards. After a caffeine hit and our confidence bolstered, we ventured forth and found the Old Town isn't really very old at all, but really quite new, made entirely of concrete and made to look Oldey-Worldy, with traditional style buildings stilted upon a big fake pond. It ticked the last area of Shanghai off the list though, so we can't say we haven't tried to see everything! The most entertaining bit of the place was a shopfront under construction with a bloke on a ladder with no PPE on at all using an angle-grinder on top of the hoarding, spraying sparks all over himself and half the busy walkway with the shopping public underneath him! The man wouldn't have just lost his job in the UK for doing that, he'd probably be locked up! But the Chinese didn't bat and eyelid and just walked around where the sparks fell.  
That evening we took the metro to the Shanghai Circus to see our acrobats. The show was brilliant, well worth the money, with pots being juggled, people jumping through spinning hoops, contortionists, and a cage of death which was a spherical cage of about 5m in diameter with 1, then 2, then 4, then 6, then 8 motorbikes riding around in! 4 of them spent about 5 mins riding around at speed less then 4" from the rear tyre of the person in front of them! Was a great final evening in Shanghai.
Next morning was our last day, and we had our epic trip to Chengdu that night, so we had a lazy day playing cards, drinking coffee and just trying to stay inside and out of the torrential rain! Was good though and Jo was thankfully back to normal again. We went to the same dumpling place we'd been to a few times before and I did my usual "talk loudly in English, then use charades, then give up and point at the Chinese menu and hope for the best" before we took the metro to the station. Next stop Chengdu for pandas and Buddhas!

Xi'an, China, 13 - 15 May 2012

Arrived in Xi'an, and managed to find the right bus to take us near our hostel thanks to some guys in Pingyao. Unfortunately, after that it was down to a Lonely Planet map and me. I'm not bad at navigating, but it does take things like an accurate map, and correct street names to navigate well. As Lonely Planet maps seem to be or possess neither of these, it took a while to find Han Tan Inn, but it was worth it. The place was only 6 months old, and was more like a hotel than hostel. We dumped our stuff and heading out searching grub, but lack of authentic little cafes and restaurants meant that we ended up drinking coffee in KFC, and eating strange cakes from a street stall. Nothing is as it seems with cakey things, and if I saw a cream cake, I wouldn't be surprised if it had beans in the middle and wasn't sweet in the slightest. Our cakes were very odd, and best of a deep fried bad bunch. We were still tired out, so we got some kip for a couple of hours before venturing out again, which was a mistake, as it was a Sunday and the shops and streets were mobbed. Jo hit the hay early that night and I stayed up listening to a man sing English songs in the bar, but who obviously didn't speak English as the words were more sounds and he paused for affect in strange places.
Next morning we wandered around the Muslim Quarter, looking at all the stalls and searching for a bloody great mosque. All we managed to find was a shedload of fake watches which Jo managed to get in a row over with a woman on a stall because she was doing "bad business" all because she didn't want the bloody watch in the first place! Daft woman thought it was a bartering technique! We then walked miles along quiet stalls selling calligraphy bits, and along the city walls, past trees full of caged birds, and out towards a supposedly famous pagoda. The pagoda was a bit pants and in the middle of a big park you had to pay to get into, so we carried on in search of a "curio market" which sounded interesting (so long as it wasn't somewhere they killed cats). Turns out that it doesn't exist anymore, but a massive brand new Crowne Plaza hotel does in its place, so we wandered back, for some dinner.
Following morning we got up early and went to see the eponymous Terracotta Army with Lucy and Tim who we met in our hostel. The place is split into 3 "pits" but these are housed in aircraft hangars. They are huge, and all with different ranks of soldier or infantry, and with many still covered in the buildings which the emporer had build around them, so you can still see the sunken structure of these roofs, under which must still lay hundreds of untouched artefacts. What makes it so strange is that it was all uncovered so recently, in 1989, when a farmer dug a hole for a well. That was in the corner of pit 1, where the famous pictures of rank upon rank of soldiers are best preserved. A lot are heavily damaged where buildings collapsed on them over the years, but the archaeologists seem to be big puzzle fans from the work you can see going on. We headed back, went to the post office and offloaded the Chinese teaset I bought in a moment of either clarity or madness (which struck me dumb, as when I asked how much, she said a number well below what I was wanting to pay, but I had to barter a bit, so I knocked off a couple of quid and got some jasmine tea thrown in for free), and a load of other crap plus some guidebooks I'd been lugging around since December, then back to the Muslim Quarter for some early dinner before our next train that night to Shanghai!

Datong, Pingyao, China, 8 - 12 May 2012

Oh dear, only a week ago and already this stuff seems like an age ago.
So we left Beijing on a day train (hard seat) after a little delay at about 9.30. We thought that on an early train out of Beijing, we'd be the first stop, but turns out no, and the carriage was strewn with sunflower seeds, noodle pots and fag ends. It was also packed already with standing room only, but in our naivety, we walked straight past our allocated seats and 3/4 of the way down the carriage before realising this, and behind and in front were dozens of people all jostling for space. We waited a couple of minutes for things to settle so we could walk back up to our seats, but everyone was planted blocking the gangway. We each had our big rucksacks and daysacks each, so mobility was low and people weren't helping in blocking the way. Everyone was already staring at the heavily laden white people, and looked at us almost in amusement as to ask "what are you going to do now", so I got pissed off, threw my daysack on my back and hoisted my huge backpack in the air over my head. I actually got a little cheer from people for this! I carved a path for Jo to try and follow, and kicked out the 2 blokes sat in our seats, then settled in for 7 hours reading whilst Jo slept. We played with a little girl who was with her granny towards the end, but the game got tiresome fast (involved her alternately saying "ni hao" and "hello" and us repeating it back to her. Wasn't such a good game after 20 mins).
Along the way we went through countryside and huge mountains, which were dry and arid, but with strangely green and fertile valleys which had been levelled out. This looked very new and suspect to me, with some marks on the valley walls below us, and after a few miles I saw why; a bloody great dam had been built, with massive concrete pillars of different states of completion reaching to different heights all around. It's obvious there's going to be a bit of a maze of trainlines and roads built around there, but god knows why, there's a dam and that's it. Must have flooded anything else that was there, and destroyed a river further down. Just another instance of the Chinese "we know best and will do exactly what we want regardless of how it affects you" Government.
Eventually we got to Datong, which we knew was supposed to be a dirty town. It looked rank, and we were tired from the journey, so when we discovered that Lonely Planet was wrong and there is no Hostel, but there is a nasty looking hotel with hookers outside and rooms charged out by the hour, wits were getting fraid. We bartered with what used to be the hostel but is now a plush business hotel, and got a really good rate (similar to hostel rates) but for an ensuite double! We met 2 more people in the reception on our way out to look for food, who were in the same boat, and explained the situation. They took a room also, and we went out together. After lots of hassle from cab drivers offering to take us to the Buddha caves and Hanging Monastery, we found a dirty looking place on the main street with tables half in the road. This turned out to have such good food we would return twice more! It had a big robot which cut the noodles off the doughball straight into the water. It also did amazing shredded pork and vegetables in a spicy sauce, and the best steamed dumplings. They were big and almost like bread on the outside, with either pork or spring onion, spinach and garlic inside. We got hassled by a guy who runs a tourist place earlier, and he came back as we were eating with a really good price for a guided tour of Buddhas and Monastery, so Marcello (Argentine/Italian), Ria (Slovakian), Jo and I paid up, went to our beds, and got up the next morning to go!
The 4 of us got to the carpark where the bus would take us from, and witnessed the Chinese workers ethic of how to start the day; around 40 hotel staff dancing together in file, to exactly the same movements. But not just for 1 song; about 5, all with different routines, and then it started to repeat! We were there for 20 mins, and they were going strong the whole time!
The bus trip to the Buddha caves was only about 45 mins, and was uneventful, just through poor and very dirty parts of town, then we were taken around all of these caves, but first we had to walk through lots of newly built buildings and pagodas and buddhas. At least the Chinese tourist industry has made one hell of an effort, with a man-made lake with a series of buildings on a stilted island in the centre you must walk through, but it's a shame they didn't put full thought into it. EVERYTHING was made of concrete, and not all the meeting pieces matched, so where the bridge met the handrail, the design of the newel post was different, and the mix was different so they were different colours. Sorry, building detour there.
The first cave has the biggest Buddha in it, which is pretty huge, but we weren't supposed to take pictures. This is supposed to be a respect thing, but as they'd intrusively put 2 bloody great CCTV cameras on poles alongside Buddha, we paid no heed.
We meandered in and out of the caves and soon left our "English speaking" guide behind. Jo and I got our photo taken in front of the big outdoor Buddha, and we left (after a much needed ice lolly to cool us down) for the hanging monastery.
It took us a while to get there, but within a big canyon, after a real 5p-50p moment where we thought we were driving off the cliff, we arrived. The monasteries were there, just chilling on the cliff-face, and we had a lovely view and got some great pics from the car park, so we didn't bother paying the extortionate entrance fee, and Jo, Ria and I just sat in the shade chatting with ice lollies (not TO the ice lollies, we were eating ice lollies... I digress). We got back to lovely Datong, and Jo and I went in search of cash (cashpoint, not mugging or anything), and an internet cafe which was successful in the former but not latter. Datong seemed to get smellier and seedier the more we walked, but this is the modern working class China; a lot of poverty and unemployment, with livings only to be made from selling what you can grow or come by on the kerb. With next to no healthcare for the masses, and such poor safety standards in workplaces (I've worked on some dodgy sites, but what they do over here makes what little hair I have stand on end) mean that there's lots of poorly treated accidents, so some grotesque injuries on beggars. Sorry, digression again. Ria and Marcello were leaving on a night train that evening, but Jo and I opted for a decent nights kip in a lovely room and get an early train in the morning to Pingyao.
Had a lovely train journey this time with three girls tarted up to the nines at 7am on an 8 hour journey who just stared at us, which was amusing to start, but after an hour it's tiresome, 7 further hours later you want to scream at them "WHAT DO YOU WANT?!".
A bloke in an electric trike was hawking for business with free rides to the hostel we were already going to, so we hopped in and prayed for our lives weaving along the main roads, then through the old city gates to the narrow stone alleyways of the old town. Our hostel was lovely, with a bar downstairs which was very cosy (and called Cozy), but nice and light in the heat, and as we went up to our room we saw that Ria had chosen the same hostel and was in the same dorm as us.
We wandered off for lunch, but as Pingyao is such a tourists dream with all of it's originality, the restaurants are all pretty pricey, but as per, Jo and I stumbled across a locals haunt with point-and-shoot menu for half the price everywhere else, and beer at 1/3 the price. We ate there several times. That evening Ria, Marcello and Jo and I went photo hunting in all the atmospherically lit alleys, walls and gatehouses.
Following day we tried a variety of strange and not-so wonderful street grub for brekkie before settling on an egg bun thing with coffee for about 70p to do the trick. After far too much deliberation of when to leave and where to, the decision was taken out of our hands by the trains, and we were heading to Xi'an next in 2 nights time. We found a supermarket and stocked up on stuff for the long night train, then wandered the streets a bit more (Jo and I are very good at this), then found another really good chinese food place that was cheap but much closer to the hostel and with pancakes on the breakfast menu for Jo!
Next day we rented a tandem (after pancakes), and went about some more exploring. Chinese tandems aren't made for 6'2" englishmen. On the front my knees hit the handlebars, and I could barely steer I was sat so close, and on the back was even worse as the handlebars were so low my feet couldn't even go round! The brakes were also pretty shot, and there was no grip on the tyres, so made for exciting riding! I don't think Jo even pedalled for most of our outing! We went around the perimeter of town, and found some nice picture spots, saw the lady we rescued on the Great Wall in Beijing (though she'd forgotten us already!), and then it began to rain, so we spent the rest of the afternoon in the hostel chatting, drinking tea and relaxing. When it became apparent the weather wasn't going to let up, I took the bike back. With no-one on the back, and with smooth wet stone underneath, I was sliding and skidding everywhere! I screeched up to the lady, who thought twice about giving my deposit back for my entrance, then thought better of it and sent me happily on my way.
On our last day I stumbled across a building site where an old style building was being made including the carvings done in timber on site. I was chuffed and wandered around wasting half a memory card on it. In the evening, another electric trike took us to the train station, though to add a bit more excitement, he kept his lights off to save battery. Arrived safe, got on and into our little bunks, though Jo was next to a very loud snorer (not me), so she got a great induction to sleeper trains! Got woken up early doors by loads of people chatting stupidly loudly to each other at 6am, but at least they weren't hocking and spitting for once!