Pai, Thailand, 17-22 August 2012

We were picked up from Chiang Mai by a taxi (not really a taxi, a pickup with bench seats down the outside) along with an American who had been travelling for over a year, 3 English lads at uni on holiday, and 2 English sisters who were proper slappers, having been out all night but ominously, neither having stayed at their guesthouse that night, so had got in the taxi still in tiny dresses but looking dog rough with makeup smeared everywhere. This little group plus a quiet French bloke made up our little minibus ride up and around the mountains to the chilled out little town of Pai. Having arrived and given a map of the town and realised that the places to stay were well spread out, so we picked a few in our price range, rented a motorbike, dumped our bags and went off exploring. A few miles later, we had a really nice place to stay. We left the bike, went for a walk and a couple of drinks, got some BRILLIANT pad thai from a night stall and went back to the room to eat it out of the sudden downpour.
At breakfast the next morning, we realised that it didn't justify the higher price for the room, so we checked out and moved our bags to another place, then set out exploring for the day with a pretty crude map as our only guidance.
We first rode toward a waterfall. We started on road, then dirt road, then track, until we were stopped in front of a bend in a stream. I looked around and walked up the stream a 100 yards, but could see no track or any evidence of a waterfall, so we turned around and rode off in search of natural hot springs. We passed a few elephants, and came to a private place that pumped the hot springs into pools in their garden, but they were pants and not what Jo was after, so we carried on and found the state run pools. There were about 7 of them in all that you could sit in, one flowing down into the next. We got in the third and it was really hot. I managed to get in, but Jo took about 10mins, so we moved to a slightly cooler one further down. There were also two pools where the water bubbled from the ground which was 80degrees, and you could buy eggs in little bamboo baskets to drop in and boil for a snack. After chilling out there for a while we got peckish, so we rode off back to town via the WW2 bridge... Which wasn't actually built in WW2, but in the 1920's and then dismantled from Chiang Mai and shipped to Pai to replace the WW2 built bridge under Japanese occupation after it had swept away in the 70's. Still a nice bridge though!
We spent the evening and night eating and drinking and being merry!
The following morning we got up to make the most of the bike for our last full day. We first rode out to another waterfall, where Jo made friends with a puppy that must have had a bit of mountain goat in its genes judging by the way it was jumping all over the rocks. We rode for miles around the stunning mountainous scenery, and eventually reached another waterfall, this one with a lagoon at its base. Jo wasn't in the mood to strip off, but I couldn't let the opportunity pass, so I got down to my boxers and went for a refreshing swim under the falls. We walked back to the bike, I tied my soaking boxers to the back to trail in the wind, and we headed towards town. En route we came across a cafe called 'Coffee in Love'. This was a charming little place with views all over the valley and the hills, and pretty good coffee too. We sat for quite a while until the bike was due back, dropped it off, and went back to our guesthouse, where we sat in the gardens by the river. Jen had given me some blank postcards and some paints, so armed with these and some felt-tips and crayons, we made up our own postcards to send home.
That evening was clear and dry, and a lot more market stalls were out than the previous nights, and for some reason every douchebag, hippy-wannabe, dreadlock-wearing westerner was also out in force. I find it strange that of all the out of the way places, where life is truly different to that of back home, that we've been, none of these people settle or even go, but in Thailand, where every convenience of home can be found, these people settle and play at being so different and ethnic despite doing the same sort of job as home with the same luxuries as home. It makes me wonder what they are running from.
Anyway, I had pad thai again (it was just that damn good) and we walked around all the little stalls, a couple of beers and played some cards, then headed back to our room as places closed up.
Next morning we were up pretty early, walked into the centre, had breakfast and hopped on the minibus to take us back to Chiang Mai and from there onto the nightbus to Bangkok.

Koh Tao, Thailand, 5-11 September 2012

We left Koh Phangan by boat, and a couple of very choppy hours later after quite a few people (not us luckily) had lost their lunches, we docked at Mae Haad in Koh Tao. Par for the course we had no idea where to go, so quickly picked up a map from a taxi man, wandered up the road to what looked like a busy convergence of streets, and had lunch while I studied the map for where to go. After we'd worn a bit more of our ever slimming flip-flops away, we had an air con room to chill out for the night and sort ourselves out. Jo was wiped, so we put the tv on and I researched on the phone who to do my diving with. When we went out to eat we realised that nothing really happens in Mae Haad, and decided to get up to Sairee Beach first thing in the morning. This we did, and after a taxi man wanting 200baht off us and not budging on the price, we told him where to go (bloody hate taxi drivers, all out to bloody con you) and walked instead. This was less strenuous than expected and took only 20 minutes dawdling. We ate brekkie at Bans, the biggest dive school in the world, and I wandered off to talk about diving to people. Finally I settled on Simple Life as they seemed friendliest, they weren't huge and impersonal, and they did all the specialist dives I wanted to do. The rest of the day was then spent exploring, relaxing in cafes, and eating.
Next morning, I was up early to meet at the dive shop at 7 for my first 2 of 5 dives for my Advanced Open Water. The previous day was wet and windy, and it had calmed a bit, but the sea was still bloody choppy which made the boat rides fun!
First up was a deep dive to 30m at a site called Chumpon. There were 4 of us on the course, and I was lucky to be buddied up to the only other decent diver who neither had no spacail awareness, nor dwelled on the seabed the whole dive. My buddy didn't however, pay enough attention to me, and because of this, only me and one guy doing his divemaster course saw the two bullsharks! Considering the dozen or so of us all over the dive site, I was very happy to have seen them! We saw lots of other wildlife including a shoal of chevron barracuda who engulfed us as soon as we descended.
Our second dive was a wreck dive on the Sattakut. As this ship was only sunk less than a year ago, it didn't have masses of life around it, but did have some cool swim throughs and some big guns to play around with. Somehow, one guy on the course burned through 180bar before we even got to the safety stop at 5m for 3mins, so had to use the octo of Ana, our Swedish instructor! God knows how, we were only down for 40mins!
We had tea and biscuits on the boat, then got back to the dive shop by 12, cleaned our kit, then Jo and I went off and rented a moped. Much against my better judgement I handed over my passport and signed an extortionate schedule of rates (think I was just tired), and we went off exploring and ended up playing crazy golf. By the 16th hole the clouds were gathering, so we rushed through the last two (I whipped Jos arse) and we got into the 19th hole bar for coffee just as the heavens opened. We waited for a gap in showers and headed back, and I dozed off. Jo was the kind and lovely girlfriend I've always wanted and took photos of me, though thankfully, didn't balance anything on me or write on me. We went out for dinner and had some drinks around the town as I wasn't diving til the afternoon the next day.
In the morning, we had a lie-in, breakfast, moved rooms to a cheaper one, and then I went off diving. It was now time for Peak Performance Buoyancy (ppb) and Navigation. First was ppb at a site called twins, where there was a kind of playground for us, with suspended hoops to swim through and other obstacles. Despite how it sounds, it was great fun, using our breathing to rise and fall over and under concrete octopus arms, and suspend ourselves upside-down in the water. We also had to do a somersault which I was the only one to complete successfully. We didn't see a lot, though there were a lot of curious groupers coming right up to us. After we were done, we had tea and biscuits as the boat swung around to the next dive site; Japanese Gardens. As some open water students were doing 2 dives, we had some time to kill, so my buddy and I went out snorkelling for an hour. A mass of curious little sergeant majors (little black and white striped fish) took a fancy to me and I was swarmed in them. We then followed a shoal of juvenile parrotfish for a bit, then swam back to the boat to kit up. We descended and swam up and down lines and into a shoal of yellow fin barracuda, in 20m squares and showed we could navigate properly. After this penultimate dive of the course, we motored back to shore. That night Jo and I had a few beers and found a place doing all you can eat pizza, so seemed rude not to.
The next day I wasn't diving, so we went looking for a bike to do some exploring. After a little walking around, it was apparent that bike rental on Koh Tao is a big con, with no insurance available, and ridiculous rates for damage (£11k for £5k scooter if stolen, £50 for headlight if damaged, £40 for small plastic panel if scratched) so we abandoned that plan and hit the beach instead. Jo was still a little burnt from the day before after using a local sun tan lotion (called Samui: avoid!) which I strongly suspect was actually mayonnaise, but we still got a bit of sun and showed off our blinding bat and ball skills to wowing admirers (well, one bloke sunbathing nearby who laughed at our longest rally of about 8). Before we knew it, the sun was starting to set, so we sat in the bar on the beach watching the sun go down then we met up with Nick at the Bans bar and went to the Cabaret. Although it had pretty pricey beer, the cabaret was free to watch. We sat and watched about 12 ladyboys of various stages dance and mime to all the big favourites like 'it's raining men', often with their boobs out. I found myself saying strange things like "for a bloke, she's got a cracking arse", and debating whether some of them actually were women. There was one person who looked like they were a boxer until a year ago, then suddenly decided on a change of career and had some really agressive and unnatural plastic surgery, but still had big muscles and was ripped. At the end, they asked for volunteers, and Jo doing her good girlfriend bit again, volunteered me. I was marched out back with 4 other guys, stripped to our boxers, given a big curly wig and a bikini top, then sent out on stage to ponce about with some ladyboys. Not exactly how I was expecting to spend my evening! We left at the end and went looking for another bar, but town was dead for some reason, so we went back to Nicks resort bar for a drink, then wandered home.
Following morning Jo was a bit hungover, and we were contemplating getting the stupidly priced cabs to take us to another beach. Instead, we just enjoyed the same beach again and this time wowed the crowds with our frisbee skills. I then buggered off to the dive shop to get kitted up ready for my last dive; the night dive. It had taken a couple of days to do it, but so worth it. We got the longtail from the beach to the dive boat as the sun was setting, and the wind was really picking up, making it a choppy ride. We got to the site and a few other big boats were already there from other dive shops. As I was the only Advance OW person who wanted to do the dive (madness of the other guys!) I was buddied up with my instructor Ana. She gave me a torch and said we'll just have a long dive until I hit 70bar. I was happy with this as I was getting pretty good on my air. We descended off the line as there was a queue, and then Ana took us around, somehow finding loads of places where there was no-one else which was great. We saw quite a few spotted rays, lots of big groupers trying to sleep, 2 kinds of pufferfish, and some great barracuda. One we saw just as he swam and caught a fish and killed and ate it. Very intimidating fish, and scarily quick swimmers. We headed around one point where there was no-one or any lights at all, and we turned off our torches for a minute and saw the effluorescent organisms in the water glow in clouds of dirty yellow/greenish hues all around us. Luckily I'd got pretty good at buoyancy as when we turned our torches back on I saw loads of huge sea urchins littering the seabed; just a touch overweighted and I wouldn't be sitting down for weeks! We swam around for about 40mins, then I hit 70bar, so we headed back towards the boat, en route seeing the a turtle someone pointed out to us that we didn't realise was a turtle until we got back on the boat. The sea had got worse, and thinking I had a foothold on the ladder turned sour and before I knew it the rear of the boat was leering 8ft about my head. I got clear before the ladder could smash into me and hauled myself up safely onto the rocky little vessel on second attempt.
We motored back to the harbour, all elated from a great dive, and my Advanced course complete. We got back to the dive shop, I said my farewells and thank-yous, then went back to the bar to meet Jo and Nick, and strangely Fern and Pauline, who we'd bumped into in Saigon and at Full Moon. We ate, chatted, drunk beer, then Jo and I retired to pack and get ready for our snorkelling trip early the next morning!
We were picked up at the bar whilst still waiting on our breakfast, then taken to a boat in the harbour. We hopped on and had tea and biscuits while we motored to the first dive site. We saw:
1st site (shark bay): sergeant majors, parrotfish, crocodile fish, angelfish, yellow butterfly fish.
2nd site: sgt majors, parrotfish, adolescent parrotfish, groupers, trumpetfish, crocodile fish, squid, jellyfish (with the flashing colourful lights).
3rd site (mango bay): sgt majors, parrotfish, groupers, wrasse, octopus.
We then had lunch on the boat and a load of fresh fruit before heading onto our 4th dive site which was more of the same, but nothing special like octopus or jellyfish, then onto our 5th site which is an island (strictly it's 3 islands joined by 2 big strips of sand (though seems to be mostly dead coral). One side of this was Japanese Gardens that I'd already snorkelled, so we sunbathed for most of the 2 hours, popping out by ourselves for a little snorkel. Neither of us saw much, though I did see a big colourful wrasse (I've got to learn more fish names) chomping away at the coral, trying to make a big hole for some reason. We wandered back to the boat, then were taken back to the harbour and to the bar, where we ate, played some cards, and waited for our taxi to take us to the nightboat onto Krabi!

Chiang Mai, Thailand, 12-17 August 2012

Night market when it peed with rain

Chang

We arrived in yet another bus station in the arse-end of nowhere in Chiang Mai at about 5.30am. They do have tuk-tuks up there, but mostly they have converted pickups with bench seating which are like shared taxis, so we got one of these to our guesthouse we booked from Bangkok online. As no-one was up when we arrived we spent half an hour just sat in the living room area of the guesthouse, then a lady got up and said our room wouldn't be ready until 9ish when the cleaner would be in, so we left our bags and went in search of food. We found some good grub (and some Olympic action) and a market, then got our bearings a little before heading back to get some sleep. We got up later and went out mooching, and before we knew it, it was evening and the Sunday market was out. We wandered up and down, and I tried some funky street foods, ending up eating far too much as Jo didn't like anything she bought so she palmed it off on me! By about 8 it started to rain, then suddenly hammered down. Jo had her tiny umbrella with a broken handle so it only half extends from China in her bag, so we got that out, and suddenly the national anthem (theirs, not ours) started playing and lots of the stall owners had whipped out candles from nowhere and were stood in vigil, so Jo and I stood and had a cuddle in a rainstorm under a tiny brolly in the middle of the road! When the music stopped, some fireworks went off in honour of the Queens birthday, and we watched before legging it to the nearest pub for some beers, Olympics and Bananagrams surrounded by British ex-pats. It felt just like when I visited Dad when he was out in Portugal, very home-from-home.
We headed back and slept like logs.
The next days plan was to rent a motorbike and have a proper explore, but it wasn't to be. By the time we'd got up, decided what we wanted to do, found prices, changed money, booked up and eaten lunch it was about 3pm. We relaxed for the rest of the afternoon then walked to the night bazarre which is a huge market every night selling clothes and nick-nacks. We walked and walked, lasted until 11ish and gave up, heading back by tuk-tuk.
Following morning we went out in search of another place to stay. We had spent our 2 booked nights in Jaidee guesthouse and we weren't impressed. You know those jokes about online dating profiles with 20 year old pictures of the person? That's what it was like. When we arrived, you could see that the picture online was lurking somewhere behind all of the overgrown grass, drooping tree branches and random crap littering the garden. It's a shame as it had potential to be nice, but was severely run down. We found a nice place called Baan Nud Cun, moved our bags, and then went to our days activity; cookery class. We did it with a family run place called Baan Thai, and we made the schoolboy error of eating breakfast before we went. We were sat on a big table with six others, were given some Thai snack foods and filled out forms of what we wanted to cook. Jo and I chose different dishes, but we didn't realise that there were 2 other tables of people and we were all mixed up together so those cooking the same dish cooked together, which meant Jo and I weren't going to cook together at all. We were all taken to a local market, talked through the ingredients and their foreign alternatives, and given time to cool down and get a fruit shake before returning. We got chatting with a Spanish couple opposite us called Oriol and Mariane. Oriol and I had chosen almost the same menu, so we would be together on most of the classes. This was good as we just swapped cameras and snapped away at each other. The dishes were really fast to cook too, so we only spent about 15 minutes cooking each dish before taking them back to your table to all eat together. I made:
•green thai curry paste

Wot we made at skool 2day

•green thai curry
•spring rolls
•hot and sour prawn soup
•stir fried chicken and cashew nuts
•deep fried banana and ice cream

The food was amazing, and we got given cookery books with all the recipes of the day and more in. By the end of the day we were absolutely stuffed, and headed back to our new room for a lie down! That night we went out for a drink and I was surprisingly hungry, so we found a cool bar called The Wall for cheap beer and good food. We were then going to head back but we found another bar we had been in called The Saloon showing the Olympic closing ceremony, so we sat for a happy couple of hours drinking Chang watching that!

Camp teacher talking us through ingredients at market

Still no lie-in the following morning as we had whitewater rafting booked. We got an early breakfast and then got picked up by our Thai guide who had a confusingly strong German accent. It was like he learnt English from watching "'Allo, 'Allo". In the minibus with us were Chanda and Kuley from Brum who were studying dentistry in London, and Dom from Northampton, a flamboyant gay lad who didn't stop talking, and told us stories of partying in a club with a very drunk Gok Wan who then went home with a burly Canadian who had no idea who he was!

View from our room

We got to the camp, were fed a big lunch of chicken, pork curry, rice and fresh fruit then 3 people who had stayed in the camp the night before joined us to make us 8 and 2 full boats. We had a load of pictures taken as a bamboo raft full of girls doing the macarena floated past, then got on the water. In our boat was Kuley, Chanda, Jo and I, plus our Thai guide who sat at the back steering and shouting orders. He was a funny little bloke, pretty ripped from doing this job every day, and really knew what he was doing, making sure we hit the rapids the right way around but still having a lot of fun. We spent a couple of hours on the water, having pictures taken as we hit the big rapids by our germanic-siam guide and jumping off the boat and having a float on some gentler stretches. On our last big rapid one side of our boat went up a rock like a ramp, throwing me backwards. I did have my feet wedged in to stop this, but 8 months without training have whittled away my core muscles and in the drink I plunged, landing hard on a rock a few inches below the surface on the small of my back. I managed to keep my grip on the boat though, and with some assistance from Chanda, was back in the boat. We then spent the last 500m or so to the pickup point getting rinsed off thoroughly by the heavens. It was then out, changed, some fresh fruit, oreos and drinks while we all chatted and looked at the photos taken of the day. Between 5 of us we agreed to buy one dvd of the pics and copy the disc. We got back to town, and Jo and I knew that if we didn't go straight back out we'd pass out, so we went for coffee, then some grub and topped off the night at the night bazarre.

Jo on the 'hog', though she obviously didn't ride it

The following morning we moved accommodation for the second time to our third place. We got up early as Jo was off on an elephant mahout day, where you learn to be a mahout (the elephant master/keeper/carer). After doing the chores of packing and moving all of our stuff I had a leisurely breakfast trying to figure out where I could find a shooting range. After a while I found that they were all far too expensive to make it worth it, so I went for a walk around a part of the old city we hadn't yet seen, then rented out a moped and went for a spin around town, looking for Doms hostel to drop off the pics. No luck, but a great couple of hours whizzing around exploring. I then headed back as I'd arranged to meet Jo in a coffee shop at 4. After two drawn out cups of coffee and two hours reading Harry Potter, she finally walked in! We went and got some dinner, then took the bike for a spin to a cinema, but everything showing was dubbed in Thai, so we resigned ourselves to head back and watch a film in our room.

Me on the 'hog'

In the morning I took the moped back and exchanged it for a 200cc Honda Phantom, a chopper with a clutch and everything! It was a lovely big beast, and Jo was well impressed when she saw it! We went for a spin and then headed for Doi Suthep Wat, the most holy temple in the area, up a mountain. Riding up the wide, winding roads was heaven! We had a look about, and despite being a bit templed out after all of our time in Asia, it was still impressive, with everything blazing in gold. As we walked back to the bike, a dog on the back of a pickup was having a blazing row with another dog on the ground. This was nothing new to see, but the one on the truck, a golden retriever, had had a pair of bright blue eyebrows drawn on! Unfortunately they didn't match his mood, and instead of 'angry' eyebrows, and more 'smiley' eyebrows. Was so funny, a shame we fumbled with the bag for too long to get the camera out to document it.

Jo at Doi Suthep

We went back to town, had lunch and then Jo went for a massage. I was given a time to meet her, and I went off happily motoring along the river and exploring another part of the city. I then got back to the massage parlour (that makes it sound a bit dirty, but it wasn't) and stood by the side of the road for 3/4 hour before giving up and going back to the room. Jo wandered in half an hour later, very apologetic that she'd stood me up for the second time in as many days! We then got back on the bike and went for a ride to a cafe to watch the sunset over the river. We finished our last day in Chiang Mai drinking beer in one of our favourite bars.
In the morning, we were up early for breakfast and minibus to Pai!

Bangkok, Thailand, 10-11 August 2012

This will be a short entry I hope; we were only in Bangkok for 20 hours! We arrived late, wandered up Ratcha-something-something (just off the infamous Koh San Road) and found a dirt cheap little double which looked just like the room Daffy is in at the start of 'The Beach' if a little smaller, cleaner and less dead bodies in it.

We went straight out and had pad thai from a street stall and I fell in love. So fulfilling, so many ways to alter the taste, and so bloody cheap! I was over the moon! We then had a wander down Koh San Rd, which wasn't nearly as mad and bustling as I expected, and then found a little bar on a parallel street with cheap Chang and live music to top off the night.
Next morning we ate then went out to try and sort out our bus to Chiang Mai. We didn't realise that the Queens birthday was the following day, and as a national holiday the whole population were boarding buses and trains back to see family, and there weren't any beds or seats together for 6 days! Luckily, we found one place with 2 seats on a night bus that evening at a silly price, so we bit the bullet, legged it back to our guesthouse to check out, then wandered around getting our bearings and relaxing for a few hours before getting "picked up" for our bus. I put this is quotations as in reality it was a man getting dropped off at our pick up point and leading us on foot for a mile through windy alleys and a muay thai gym to the bus! As expected, the bus was chocka, but we had good seats, and dozed off as we weaved our way north to Chiang Mai!

Pursat, Cambodia, 9-10 August 2012

Our big bus rolled along the main highway and stopped in a small town. In this small town only a handful of locals got on and off, and Jo and I were the only westerners to get off. A few other travellers on the bus looked on at us as if to say "why are you getting off here?!" This is because Pursat is a tiny place and with little to do there or go there for. The reason we were going there was for one reason solely; the biggest floating village on the Tonle Sap lake. As we had no idea where we were or any map, we got a tuk-tuk to take us the couple of hundred metres to a guesthouse, where we resumed our roles of Jo going to check out the room and I stay put, laden with bags. She came back out of the corridor laughing, so I knew it wasn't good. She reported that it was ok for one night, but a touch small. It was a prison cell with pink curtains. It just fitted a bed with enough room to open the door. She was right though, it'd do for the night, especially at about a pound each.

We abandoned the bags and looked for a tuk-tuk to take us to the floating village. One guy wouldn't budge on his price, but continued to follow us up the road to the bus ticket office (we were getting out of this place as soon as we could!). We then found someone to take us at the right price, and after a quick purchase of bus ticket to Bangkok for the next morning, we set off on the hour journey, of which, it rained for 45 mins. Luckily, it stopped and brightened up when we arrived. The place isn't really a tourist hotspot, with very poor families littering the road up to the lake, although all very happy people, with lots of kids playing and screaming "HELLO" and waving like lunatics at the white people.
We got a boat to take us on an hour ride around the 'village' which is actually the size of a small town. There were buildings floating on bamboo or proper boat hulls, containing everything from small shops, to ironmongers, to petrol stations. Was really surreal to see, especially the latter, which for some odd reason doubled as an animal sanctuary, with lots of chickens and dogs running about amongst the petrol pumps. We went right out onto the lake, and anchored up was a big modern looking yacht very similar to the boat that took us around the islands in Fiji. It turned out this was the hospital ship, and came past once every week and spent its entire time circling all of the floating villages on this vast lake. Tethered to it was a much smaller boat which was the pharmacy.
When we were done, we got back in our tuk-tuk and headed back, in the evening sunshine. We then went in search of food. We found a little local place almost opposite where we were staying where no-one spoke English either, and had a really good meal of fried rice and spicy fried beef with ice-tea (this is just a cold teapot in the middle of the table and they bring you a glass of ice, I have to remember to try it with cold stewed tea at home!). We went for a wander to see if there was a town or centre to this little place straddling the main highway between Battambang and the capital and found a few more streets, one or 2 tiny hotels and a couple of shops and a market, but nothing too built up. Eventually, we made our way back to our cell, found a movie in English on the little tv and dozed off.
The next morning we got up early for our bus, showered with a bucket of cold water and went back to breakfast at the place we ate at the night before. Then it was onto the bus and onwards to Bangkok, via Battambang! Our penultimate country of the trip complete in no time at all! We'd done a lot and seen everything we could and Cambodia had to offer, but we were still sad to leave, and knew that if we stayed longer in Cambodia we'd just be dragging it out in a vain attempt to deny the inevitability of finishing our trip and going home.

Battambang, Cambodia, 7-9 August 2012

Battambang should actually be spelt 'Bat Dambong' as it means 'lost stick' after a former Kings magic stick he lost which caused him to lose his throne. Loving the facts these days I am.
Battambang is a smallish city, though supposedly Cambodias second largest. It's a busy and bit dirty little place with a big local market and some really run down old French buildings. Lonely Planet raves about the French architecture, but the little I found was either hidden behind signage, or crumbling to pieces. I don't think the Cambodian people know this is a potential tourist puller, so don't make anything of it. The reason people DO go though is the bamboo train amongst a few other things. Our tuk-tuk guy, a bloke with a huge grin permanently bolted to his face was eager to give us the lowdown on where he could take us that afternoon and how much for. The price was silly money, so we said we'd think about it, and ventured off to wander the streets seeing the city, then ended up in a place called Gecko for dinner overlooking the bustling streets. We went to the bar opposite our hotel that night as it seemed to have the most life and the cheapest beer, and went back to our room where I watched ESPN until the wee hours cheering Chris Hoy to his deserved gold medal, and getting thoroughly annoyed at the judges pissing around which caused Pendleton to have to settle for silver to the Ozzies.
Next morning we had breakfast in a nice little place next door to the hotel, and our tuk-tuk driver came bounding over. He said he had 2 people going on his little tour that morning and we could go for $5, so we polished off our coffees and joined them. The 2 people he had we a pair of Irish girls called Sarah and Emily, and turned out they were the people who I sneered to Jo "who goes travelling with a bloody guitar" when we saw them arrive the day before but discovered they bought it along the way, (so proof you shouldn't judge!) and we got on great with them.
Our first stop was the bamboo train. This is a length of track left by the French (so now almost 100 years old) with little bamboo trains that go up and down, though almost entirely for tourists now. The trains are ingenious; they are 2 axles with a set of bearings close to each wheel and a fixed hub in the centre of one axle with belt around it. There is then a bamboo raft that sits on the bearings so that the whole axle can spin freely and a small engine on the back of the raft on a sliding track. This is so that the driver levers the whole engine back with a stick, which increases the tension in the belt connected to the axle, which increases friction and so drives the whole thing forwards! So bloody clever! Just a huge clutch system whereby the engine moves wholesale by a man pulling a stick! I was thoroughly impressed, and pretty surprised, as were Sarah and Emily, at the speed we got up to. We flew through the countryside for a couple of km, then pulled up as we saw a row of 3 or 4 other trains coming the opposite way. This is where the simple nature of the train proves its cleverness again; you just lift the bamboo platform off the axles and put it by the side, then lift each axle off and the whole thing is dismantled in seconds! Within 5 mins, our train was reassembled and we were flying down the rickety track again. We got to another sort of station and stopped for a bit, a little girl made me a grasshopper out of leaves, we turned around and headed back. We pulled up to the start again and a bit miffed to be told to tip the driver as apparently the $5 each we paid at the start mostly gets pocketed by the bent police. Bloody corruption everywhere, and it just seems the rich get richer and the poor stay put. Cambodia seems terrible for this and it's so sad as they're such a happy nation who've been through so much in recent history.
Anyway, enough of that. Next up was a winery! For a couple of dollars we got some grape juice, ginger juice, red wine, and brandy! I have to be honest, the red wine was fruity and crap, and the brandy like fire-water, but the ginger stuff was spicey and really nice! The grape stuff also made the brandy pretty nice too! We finished our drinks and headed to a Wat with a couple of big trees by the entrance packed with fruit-bats. There were hundreds of them making a right racket, and flying all around us. We took some pics, then carried on up to a set of temples on a hill that the locals reckon were the inspiration for Ankor Wat. I really doubt this after looking at them, and they are falling to pieces with no sign of any restoration going on sadly, but they were quite impressive, especially considering how many stairs we had to climb to get up to them. We had a drink and moved on to another big hill with temples at the top, but this one was where the Khmer Rouge took the temple and turned it into a prison, and used some caves up there for murdering people. Not a nice place, although the temple is now almost complete in its return to original use complete with many painted depictions of Buddha. The killing caves have also been turned into a place of worship, and some bones and skulls kept on display. This may seem horrible, and it is to behold, but in a nation where nation where you can really feel and notice the lost generation, it is necessary to remember.
We were then done for the day, and wanted to head back and get some circus tickets, but sadly it wasn't on, so we ate, got showered, caught up on some Olympic action, and went to the bar opposite for a few drinks. Emily was wiped and hadn't been feeling too hot all day, so it was just Jo, Sarah and I, and we chatted for hours in the warm evening with cold beer.
The next morning we found our way to the post office, found a cashpoint to flex the credit card, ate brekkie and said goodbye to Sarah and Emily as they moved onto Phnom Penh, and we boarded a bus to Pursat!

Siem Reap, Cambodia, 1-7 August 2012

Siem Reap means 'Siam Defeated' after Ankor Wat was captured back from the Thais, bet you didn't know that did you? Thought I'd start with a fact this time. We rolled into a bus station bloody miles from town, where the gates were locked behind the bus as it entered to keep all of the tuk-tuk drivers at bay. Was quite funny to watch as we had the benefit of booking our guesthouse ahead and sorted our free pickup, so had no need to deal with the hyper blokes shouting and postulating at the gates. We got to our guesthouse after a good bit of fresh air in our little tuk-tuk, and immediately headed out to find a shop to get some cold drinks. Jo and I both still felt crap from our bargain pizza the night before in Phnom Penh, and had no interest in eating, so we collapsed on the bed with the ceiling fan going full tilt in a vain attempt to cool the room. Jo dozed off by about 7.30, and I lasted 'til a bit later.
We awoke next morning with rumbling stomachs after not eating the day before, and sat down to the free brekkie of tea, coffee, eggs and toast. Was modest, but did the trick. We then found our way into town, and spent the day planning our route of the famous Ankor Wat and other many sundry temples. We spoke to a few tuk-tuk guys, and one nice bloke got the hump with me when I wouldn't 'promise' him I'd go with him. I then got wound up with the bloke in our guesthouse who wanted $12 for one day, but $45 for 3 days! He couldn't work out what was wrong with that! We abandoned hope and went to pub street for some grub and watch some Olympics.
In the morning after some grub, we found a bloke who wasn't trying to flog a 'tour' (not a tour, just a route that they take) and was willing to go to where we wanted and in the order we wanted. Jo found it funny in all the negotiations that barely anyone listened to us and just said "no, we won't do that, I'll take you there instead"! Imagine a taxi driver in the UK saying that! "No mate, I won't take you to Oxford, I'll just drop you off at Milton Keynes"! Anyway, he was a nice bloke, and whisked us off to the ticket office and onward to an array of temples increasing in size and stature as we progressed. I can't decribe them all (this blog is boring enough as it is for you few readers), but I can summarise that:
• Baphuon looks like the castle in Mario 64
• Phimeanakas at the top looks like King Louies palace in The Jungle Book
• Bayon is the one with the cool but bit freaky heads everywhere
• All of the temples are being sponsored and repaired by different countries, which is unfortunately meaning that some are delicately and sympathetically done (France, Germany), some are taking forever (Japan), and some look terrible and are being repaired with shitloads of concrete (China... Who else) which just looks terrible.
• Trees can straddle thousand year old stone walls like lapdancers
• We didn't make it to Ankor Wat on day 1
That is the long and short of 8-9 hours walking around the temples. We got showered, headed out and found a brilliant little family run place doing great Khmer food, then had a drink watching the Olympics again before an early night.
Day 2 in the temples was a more relaxed affair. We hired bikes (would have used motorbikes for the whole thing, but you can't rent them anywhere in Siem Reap, probably so that tuk-tuk drivers won't go out of a job) and cycled the 6km to Ankor Wat, then spent about 4 hours wandering around it. Very impressive, especially the moat around the outside. Took lots of pics, then headed back to town, dropped off the bikes and showered, then went to town for coffee in the Blue Pumpkin, a trendy little cafe chain with air con and lovely big sofas. Jo then wanted to be pampered, but not by me, by some fish. She somehow persuaded me to join in (think it was the free beer that swayed it) and we sat down to have out tootsies munched by fish, but not like the ones in shopping centres in the UK, these were big buggers (you could gut and eat them) and we pretty hungry... Either that or we have minging feet... I'll pick the former. Due to me being unused to the experience, it took me 18 of the 20 minutes to stop giggling like a little girl. We then had a foot massage (I'm losing man points by the second here, it feels more like confession than a blog) and then sat in a bar for 20p beers and more Olympics. We got chatting to a really nice kiwi couple, but as is the way, we were meeting Jos friend from Ghana, Elysia and her boyfriend that night for drinks, and the kiwis were off the next morning. We spent so long chatting that we had to leg it to meet Elysia and her boyfriend Nathaniel at a cool little bar with $1 cocktails. We stumbled back and asked at our guesthouse about getting a tuk-tuk to Ankor Wat for sunrise the next morning. They quoted a silly number and said we would have to pay for him for the day despite our argument that he would be back by 9ish, so, convinced we could do better, we found a moto guy (a man with a scooter basically) and asked him and he said yes. The next morning, we blearily made our way towards the meeting spot and a man on a bike waved at us. We waved back and he came over, but I'm almost certain it wasn't the right bloke. This fact was reinforced by him asking me at every junction which way to go! Surely a moto-man would know the way to Ankor Wat in his own town! He then announced as he dropped us off that he wouldn't wait as we'd agreed (see, told you; wrong bloke) so we paid him half fare and away he went.
Sunrise at Ankor Wat is a bit hit and miss in wet season, and we weren't very lucky. The sky was pretty cloudy on the horizon, and the most interesting part of it was seeing all of the people around us, there were hundreds! As well as a western couple in wedding dress and morning suit there for a photo shoot. We sat down for a cup of coffee, as people dispersed after we saw nothing, then suddenly it broke through thr clouds. I legged it over to the big pond and got a couple of pictures of what we got up and crammed onto the back of a moto-man for before it quickly disappeared. We then had a wander around, went up to the very top, took some nice pics then found a cheap tuk-tuk to take us back to the guesthouse. The plan when we got back was to kip for an hour. I awoke at midday, and we eventually made it to town around 1 for lunch (with the best and cheapest ice coffee we've found so far), coffee, beer, Olympics, fish feet eating (forgive me Father, for I have sinned...), and dinner. We stumbled home late via the night markets and looked forward to a lie-in.
We decided to stay one more day a relax in Siem Reap by a pool, but this meant finding one, but all we found we tiny hotel pools and scattered rain showers, so we spent the day reading, playing Bananagrams, drinking, eating, and hunting down the gymnastics (which we also failed at). Had a great meal that night with our own little gas barbie, some beef, chicken, crocodile, goat and shrimp, a load of veg, noodles and rice and a load of soup/stock to cook it up with.
Next morning we were up earlyish and on the bus bound for Battambang!