Phnom Penh, Cambodia, 21-24 July 2012

Our bus to Phnom Penh was a pleasant surprise. The seats were huge, with adjustable leg rests, and acres of legroom. We were supposed to leave at 2pm and arrive at 8pm, but of course that was wrong, we were picked up a little late then dropped off at gone 10pm. Luckily Jen had arrived that afternoon, so she had a guesthouse sorted for the three of us. I somehow managed to barter for a tuk-tuk despite the fact we were miles from anywhere to stay and with no other way of getting to the centre. The room Jen had booked was recommended in LP, but it was pretty crappy, with dirty towels, windows that wouldn't close, and big ventilation holes in the walls letting all the mozzies in, so we moved on the next day. We went in search of some breakfast and somewhere else to stay and found a really nice place called Fancy Guesthouse, and after Jo was let loose on him we had a cheap room. She's got very good at bartering now, so she does most of it for the rooms!
As it was Jens birthday, we let her choose what to do. Understandably she didn't want to see the killing fields or anything like that, so we went for a 'Seeing Hands' massage done by blind people. When we came out Jo was grinning ear-to-ear with how relaxed she was, whereas Jen and I were battered and bruised. It was a good massage I got, but I think they just pick and choose what type of massage to give, and the bloke I got must have thought "I'm going to make this bloke hurt". He spent a couple of minutes with all of his weight going through his elbow into my lower back! Real pro though; left no bruises! Afterwards we went in search of cake as you always have cake on your birthday, and I never found one on mine. We walked along the river and found a bakery and picked our cakes then were told to take a seat upstairs. When we got up there, the whole place was glistening white with floor to ceiling glass along the whole frontage, and a massive sofa/cushioned platform to sit on. We had tea and coffee with our cake and sang 'Happy Birthday'. It was then decided that we'd go to the cinema that night as it was showing 'Four Weddings and a Funeral', so whilst Jen went for a little lay down (she hadn't eaten properly for a few days and was still a bit woozy and don't think the headless dog on the market we saw that morning helped) Jo and I went in search of the cinema to get tickets. To follow tradition, our map was wrong, very wrong, and although we got to walk past the palace, silver pagoda, independence monument and lots of other nice places, after an hour and over 3 miles, we discovered the cinema was definitely not where the map showed it. We then found another map which had the cinema on it again, this time only two streets from our guesthouse, so we got a tuk-tuk back to the centre and arranged for the same guy to pick us up the next day to take us to the museum, killing fields and the russian market. When we got in, Jo swapped places with Jen, and Jen and I went off in search of tickets and some grub. We found the cinema easily as well as a nice little place serving 35p beer and good food. When we returned to the cinema a little later, we discovered it was actually the English owners hard-drive rigged up to a projector, showing pirate movies and dvds, but done really well. He'd soundproofed the room, set up a proper sound system, laid out some mattresses and loads of cushions on stepped levels for seating, and only used really high quality pirate movies. He'd even shown trailers for films coming to his cinema soon, one of which was a BBC show. After the fim, the girls were tired out, so we just headed home.
The 23rd started with a bargain buffet brekkie we found on our ramblings the day before, and then a tuk-tuk to the museum, which had previously been S-21 the security prison of Khmer Rouge, and prior to that a school. It held nothing back, with pictures of the last 14 people found badly tortured and dead in the prison, and those prisoners shackles and beds still unmoved from where they were found. There were classrooms divided up into tiny 800mm x 2000mm cells, and bloody handprints on the walls. An incredibly horrific place, where in total 10,000 prisoners passed through before being sent to the killing fields, and an estimated 20,000 children were taken from and also killed. Remarkable how one mans paranoia could take things so far. There were also testimonies and statements of some of the prisoners. One is from an Australian who was held, tortured and killed. His handwritten statement states his history of birth and education and where he was captured. This was then typed up by someone else to include fictitious statements about the CIA and strange resistant sentences like "the CIA have sent me... And will never stop sending agents here". A lot of the prisoners in the latter 2 years of the Khmer Rouge rule were actually members who would be at work one day and suddenly told to report elsewhere, only to be blindfolded and chained and tortured until they admitted whatever minor fictitious crimes they were told to have committed. A very sad place, and even sadder that the heads of the regime never truly were punished, and at their ages probably never will be properly.
From one contemplative place to another, we moved onto the Killing Fields. They are about 20km out of town, and are scarily smaller in scale than I expected. The mass graves are everywhere, a lot not exhumed, but some are the size of the serving box on a tennis court, and had upwards of 600 people in them. A terrible place with one really terrible tree which I won't write about.
We went back to town and to the Russian market, which didn't seem very Russian, just lots of stalls in a maze all under one roof. Jen got a bag made of cement bags, and I got another wife-beater, then we headed back. We were all a bit quiet, and Jo was quite short and ill-tempered, so we went for dinner in a place with cheap beer and $1 tacos. A bit more perked up but not enough to go out, we booked our bus to take us to Kampot the next morning and went back home to pack.

Saigon, Vietnam, 19-21 July 2012

We arrived in Saigon in perfect time for the heavens to open and soak us. Luckily, Jo and I still had our fetching polka-dot ponchos from our motorbike tour. A bolshy woman built like a brick shithouse met us from the bus and offered some hotel very close by and a fair price. She then led 6 of us (Jo and I, James and Lisa, and Nick and Gaz) down a labyrinthine set of pathways to a crappy looking place we'd never find, so we said thanks but no thanks and wandered off in the rain. Back on the main street we poked our heads in a couple of places, then the same woman came back and led us into a brand new hotel. Rooms were good and included brekkie so we were sold. It was already 5pm by this point so we arranged to meet at 7 for dinner, and Jo and I ventured off to arrange a tour of the Cu Chi tunnels the following day and our bus to Phnom Penh. For dinner we also met up with three girls that the others had met a few times along the way and who James was smitten with. We had a good few beers, finished dinner then Lisa and Jo headed back and the rest of us went in search of drink. A group of 7 tentative westerners in the street proved to be like chocolate bar at weight-watchers; at one place two guys from the same bar but different floors actually started fighting over us! All the bars we went near were a bloody rip-off though, and offers like "buy 1 get 3 free" actually meant buy a bottle of 50 quid vodka and get 3 bottles of beer free. We ended up in a beer hoi type place on little plastic chairs on the pavement drinking 26p bottles of ice cold Saigon beer, surrounded by dozens of tables of locals and others travellers. Spent quite a while having the craic, then moved onto a little bar, where I had a final beer and left concious that I only had a few hours until I had to be up to get on a tour bus. Following morning I didn't feel great, but no rest for the half-cut, and felt better when two saffer girls in front of us were in a much worse state. The bus stopped about 40km into the 60 to the Cu Chi tunnels at a factory and warehouse set up by the government for sufferers of physical disabilities due to US use of Agent Orange in the war. It made loads of handicrafts and quite a lot of intricately hand decorated vases, crockery and titbits. Was very good to see these people, a lot of whom had no legs, able to lead normal lives. I did wonder what ironic affects the chemicals they used in the factory were having on them though. We arrived in the sweltering area of Cu Chi where the Viet Cong hid and built 250km of tunnels only 60km from the US occupied Saigon. We were shown around by our batty old Vietnamese man of a guide, Ky, who would say "ooh la la", "ay ay ay", and "you can imagine" over and over. Lovely bloke though and very enthusiastic with his war stories (he was a student, too young to be called up to fight in the war). We were shown lots of booby-traps, including a brutal looking tiger trap, and secret hatches used to hide away quickly, barely bigger than an A4 piece of paper. We then saw some weapons and there was a shooting range with lots of guns, all either rifles or machineguns. I wanted to have a go, but there was a minimum number of bullets you could buy, so I gave it a miss for now. We then went into the actual tunnels themselves. There are only a few still accessible, most having collapsed, and the one we went in was made bigger for tourists. Despite this, I still almost got stuck, and was unable to walk in a crouch at all and resorted to walking in a pressup position. We got out and went to try some typical guerilla lunch. This was cassava, skinned and boiled so it was like a boiled potato (and tasted a lot like) with a powder made of ground peanuts, sugar and pepper. The kitchens they built underground were very clever, with the smoke going through three or four chambers to filter out as much smoke as possible before coming out of the ground 25m away from the kitchen itself. We got back on the bus and awoke back in Saigon next to the War Remnants Museum, so we hopped off. There were lots of captured US planes, helicopters, tanks and artillery, and a section on the prisons used against the VC including lots on the torture they suffered at the hands of the French, American and South Vietnamese. As this is Asia, they don't hold back on details and lots of the pictures and stories were horrific. Inside it only got worse, with various sections torture, interrogation of civilians, chemical agents and the various tactics (mostly scorched earth) used by the Americans. There was one piece on former US senator Kelleys actions in the war. I won't go into it, but I don't know how he can sleep at night. We finished our tour looking at the effects Agent Orange has had on the subsequent generations, which had bottled embryos that had been stillbirths. A very graphic exhibition, but you can't shy away from what has been done and so recently. After our harrowing visit to the museum we went in search of a cinema to watch Brave and cheer us up. I had a little map marked up by the guy working in the hotel reception, but he obviously didn't know, so we just walked around asking people. We found our way to a mall, and then discovered it had a cinema in the business part of the building next door. Very strange and wasn't showing Brave so we left. I then took us along a road I had a hunch about and found the cinema we were looking for. But it wasn't showing Brave either. Bugger. So we walked home, now totally knackered. We spent the evening chilling out, then went out for dinner and to the night markets, wandering home through the park packed with couples dancing and little kids playing. The 21st was our last morning in Vietnam. We packed up, ate the crappy breakfast on offer (I say on offer, but the only option was omelette and bread, so the true option was eat or don't eat), then went to post postcards, and take some last pictures, then had a decent lunch before the bus to Phnom Penh at 2pm. Suddenly Vietnam was over all too soon, and although we didn't feel we'd missed out anything, we still were sad to leave as it meant only two countries left and a step closer to going home.

Dalat, Vietnam, 17-19 July 2012

We got off the bus in little Dalat, Jo with a minor concussion from smashing her head into the ceiling from a hitting a pothole at speed, around lunchtime. The hotel we were dropped outside had a cheap room, included breakfast and was a minutes walk to the centre, so we didn't venture far in search. The guy working there was very friendly and tried to flog us his fake Easy Rider tour. We were quite taken with the idea, but went in search of the city first before deciding. We found a dirty market selling every ingredient possible in every state of decomposition from the smell, then the lake with it's romantic 'swan' pedalos. We couldn't resist and climbed in our floating chicken, sorry, I mean 'swan' and had a lovely hour on the lake. We went off in search of a drink and then onto an official Easy Rider cafe. We got chatting to a couple of the guys who run it in Dalat. They do long trips up and down the country, or just daytrips around the countryside. They were set up almost 20 years ago, and have been such a success that lots of people try and claim the name Easy Rider. The guys we spoke to were the real deal. The big selling point was they were the same price as the guy in the hotel, but with the bonus of letting me ride a real bike instead of a moped. We booked up for the following day, and got some directions to the crazy house. After a 10 minute walk, we got to the house designed and built by a female Vietnamese architect to bring tourism to the city. It took her a long time to get built because of the look and design, but her dad was a famous politician so that must have helped. The place is currently having a big extension put on the side, and the whole lot looks a bit like if Salvador Dali made The Animals of Farthing Wood. There are lots of rooms with big beds in that you can stay in, but during the day is just for people to look at. I would love the idea of having something similar built in England, but it would never happen. At one point there's a walkway only 500mm wide with sides about the same height, no handrail and a 30ft drop below. Quite scary for those not fond of heights I'd imagine. I was well chuffed as there were no barriers up to stop you walking into the extension parts. I had a good mooch around, then we took some more pictures and left as it started to get dark. We wandered back, bumped into the Raptors who were two lads on my boat in Halong Bay, then had a lovely dinner in a very slow service but charming restaurant that wouldn't look out of place in the middle of nowhere in Northern France. When we eventually tumbled into bed I discovered that though we'd only been in Dalat for a few hours, we'd taken 130 photos already. The next morning we were up early for a good breakfast before our motorbike tour. We met our guide, a guy called Quan, but known as Buffalo due to his size (and as we'd later discover, his appetite). I was shown to a little Honda CB125, and Jo and I were both handed helmets you wouldn't let your child use on a skateboard. Jo was pretty scared, but as soon as we were out of the city she was loving it, sat behind me taking pictures as we sped through the countryside. We first stopped at the Dragon Pagooda which true to its name had lots of dragon statues, then onto the valley to see all the farms of stepped fields below us growing strawberries, avacados, spring onions, pumpkins and more. We then stopped at a hill that after a 20min hike took us up to views over the whole valley and Dalat. A little further on we stopped at some greenhouses where they grow flowers. These weren't as high-tech or vast as the ones in Holland, but were developed by a Dutchman who came over years ago, married a Vietnamese girl, and set it up as he saw the ground and climate conditions were perfect. Was quite cool, especially the rows upon rows of them made out of bamboo. En route to the coffee plantation, we stopped to try some red coffee beans, which are quite sweet, then another stop to see hundreds of huge spiders who had made a home between a row of trees and some power cables above. It seems a lot of mozzies and flys must be around as these spiders were easily 4inches in diameter, and all pretty fat. Jo freaked out a bit and almost leapt off the bike into the middle of the road. We got to the coffee plantation where a family live and work. They grow the coffee beans, then feed the red beans to a load of weasels they keep who love them, but can't digest the actual beans themselves, just the skins. The weasel poo is then harvested, cleaned and dried and used to make an expensive but quite smooth coffee! They also made normal coffee, just by drying out the beans, and with the dried out skins they're left with, they burn them to heat pots of rice and make rice wine! Nothing goes to waste, and the result is some 'happy water' at about 75% proof! We sat and tried some coffee, then rode off to the elephant waterfall. The elephant waterfall looks pretty cool from the top, but the best bit is climbing down and getting behind the bottom of the falls. We teetered across the wet slippery rocks and got soaked in the backdraught of the spray, then back up to another temple built above the falls. I'm not sure why this temple was so grand, but it had a couple of Buddha with many hands, the three Buddhas representing past, present and future, and outside a huge happy Buddha (the fat, bald Buddha sat on the floor laughing). By the time we'd done all of this it was about 1, and we were starving, so we went for lunch and Buffalo ordered a set menu for the 3 of us to share. There was loads of food, including; frog in banana leaf that looked and tasted like a really strong coarse English sausage, beef with vegetables and ginger, various spring rolls, morning glory (a green vegetable wilted and lightly pan fried with some pork fat and garlic), chicken, pork belly chopped into bitesize pieces, fish in an oily broth, and loads of little crabs, lightly fried. Oh, and a massive bowl of rice of course. Was lovely food, and the frog and the crab especially good. I was worried it was going to cost a fortune, but only 45k VND each (about £1.30). After our hearty lunch it was onto a silk factory where they harvest the silk worms, boil and spin the silk thread, spin it again to thin it out, then again to dry it, then there were a few looms making doyleys and table cloths and the like. There were also ladies hand sewing pictures in silk. The pictures, depending on size take 2 to 5 months to complete! We left the silk factory fascinated and educated.   Next we stopped at a small family house with a lean-to made of tarpaulin under which the family made brooms out of a coarse straw harvested further into the mountains, and then a little further on again at another small house where big round shallow baskets, a bit like upside-down jar lids, were made of woven cut down bamboo. They are then taken and sold at market for use at drying coffee, tea leaves or chillis. Whilst we were there the mother of the house cleared seats for us and made us some artichoke tea (we'd never heard of it either, but it tasted really good!). We asked Buffalo if we should pay for the tea or something, but he said no, it was just the woman being friendly. Felt very humbled by this, as they worked in their one room house, they would still give the little they have to strangers. We rode on and stopped at the coffee plantation again for a bit to let the rain that was falling in the valley ahead of us clear before continuing, then stopped briefly at a minority village, where one of the 50 odd minorities of Vietnam live, with their own customs and dialects. We carried on and soon found the rain, so we stopped for some sexy polka-dot ponchos, then ploughed on back to Dalat. Our last stop was the old railway, built when the French still occupied, with steamtrains and cogs to get the trains up and down the mountains. We got back into the cafe and had a coffee to warm us up (due to its altitude, Dalat is quite cool, and the rain only made it worse), thanked Buffalo for a great day, and went back to the hotel to chill out. We lazily ate at the same place for dinner as the previous night, then packed up ready to get the bus early the next morning to Saigon!

Nha Trang, Vietnam, 11-17 July 2012

Arrived in Nha Trang bright and very early after an ok nightbus with a driver with no fear. After a bit of wandering about asking prices and looking at rooms, we finally found a triple room for a good price in the hotel next door to the one Liv and her friends were staying in. We found some breakfast and headed back to the room so Jo and Jen could have a kip. The afternoon was spent searching up and down the beach for Liv and co but never found them. We arranged to meet Liv later on in a bar, but we got there early to see them all walking back giggling like schoolgirls after an afternoon on cocktails, so no wonder we never found them on the bloody beach! We decided to meet after dinner, but again we never found them, so after a few more drinks and lots of poking our heads in doorways we retired. The next morning as we looked for some breakfast we bumped into Marc and Patricia who we met in the 4000 Islands in Laos. We swapped stories and advice (they were going North and we were heading South) over breakfast then said our goodbyes again. We then wandered down to meet Liv and co at the beach in a certain spot, but we still nearly missed them; they weren't on the beach but by the pool of a bar on the beach. Spent the day getting crispy, then Jen and I went to find the bus booking office as she had decided she wanted to go off on her own for a bit and meet up together again in Cambodia on her birthday. She wasn't keen on going to Dalat, so she would forge on to Saigon, then fly to Bangkok, then go overland back to Cambodia and meet us in Phnom Penh in 9 days time. That night was our last evening with Liv, but her friends wanted to eat somewhere else, so the four of us (Liv, Jen, Jo and I) went for a set menu curry that Marc and Patricia had recommended that morning. Was great grub, and we went off to meet the other girls in a bar, but they weren't to be seen, so after a while we found them for Liv to get the key to the room, and we went off to another bar for more drinks (including free passionfruit daquaris for ladies) and Jo and Liv to have an emotional farewell. The next morning it was just the three of us suddenly. We did much the same as the previous day, going from pool to sunlounger to restaurant to bar to bed. The next morning we had to leave our hotel as Jen was leaving that evening, but the two of us couldn't now afford the hotel we were in. Lots more looking at rooms and bartering, and Jo found a lovely little place for USD10 for the room including breakfast. We shifted bags, spent more time by the pool, then had a decent meal before walking Jen to her nightbus to Saigon. Suddenly we were two again. We spent the following day in the now familiar holiday routine, and the day after that was my birthday and our last full day in Nha Trang. The only real difference was that we went in the sea (tempted to get the bus to another beach, but as the one on our doorstep was often mostly deserted, we didn't bother). Was a great and relaxing way to spend the day though, with a few drinks in the afternoon, back to the Indian place for dinner and more drinks! The following morning we were up at 6am so we had time to walk to the bus station and get on the bus to take us onto our penultimate stop in Vietnam; Dalat.

Hoi An, Vietnam, 8-10 July 2012

On arrival in Hanoi from Halong Bay, Jo, Liv, Jen and I met up for some grub before the nightbus to take us straight to Hoi An. The bus was obviously overbooked, and after a few people who had settled themselves in were removed as they were put on the wrong bus, we 4 took the last remaining beds. Jen at the back on a bank of 4, Jo and Liv on some singles, and me on a bank of 3 against the window next to an Aussie couple. 18 hours later, and after a coffee stop in Hue for an hour to change buses, we arrived in Hoi An. We were greeted to beautiful sunshine and clear skies and a free minibus to take us into the centre. Liv departed to take a motoman to her hotel that was already booked to meet her friends. The first hotel we tried was in our budget and got us a very nice triple room, so no buggering about required (it even had a pool!). Jos friend Izzy and her boyfriend Ross were also in Hoi An at the time, and we arranged to meet up with them. We found their hotel around the corner from ours, had a couple of drinks together, and then they had a second fitting at their tailor. Instead of wandering off, we went with them to check it out and I immediately found myself being "measured" by a very friendly woman. The "measuring" seemed to consist of fondling, squeezing, and pinching of unmentionables to the tune of "big banana", "ooh, big strong man" and other phrases that I would not have expected my girlfriend to laugh at (I'm sure she wouldn't if it were a barmaid or something, but as it was a tailor it was ok apparently). I had a look at the stuff Ross had had made and was really impressed. You obviously have to choose the higher quality fabrics to make it worth getting made which pushes the price up, but even shopping on the most expensive rail and with silk lining, and two double-cuff shirts of REALLY nice material, my lot came to $190 (just under £120). Jo saw Izzy in her suit, and couldn't resist getting a very nice evening jacket made up too, though as she was only getting a jacket made she didn't get flossed with the tape measure like I did! Izzy and Ross were happy with their stuff and we all headed out for drinks again by the river. Hoi An is stunning, and the Old Town is even better viewed from the outside, so we sat drinking the local fresh beer which is about 400-450ml and 10-15p. To my surprise and great happiness Jo liked it too and began to develop a taste for beer! Her argument for it is that it's just as refreshing as water and about 1/5th the price! That night we all met up again together, this time all 9 of us. We had a couple of drinks, found a little place still doing food, then back to the bar for more drinks and watch Murray lose the Wimbledon Mens Final. Next day we mooched around looking at all of the French colonial architecture, brightly coloured boats and various temples. Before long we were back on the Fresh Beer by the river again. On the walk back Jo and I ended up in another tailors somehow. With the help of dozens of clothes catalogues and a laptop, we both had ourselves measured up for a winter coat each. Izzy and Ross had now moved on North to Hanoi, so it was 'just' the 7 of us for dinner that night. We eventually found somewhere which everyone was happy on, then wandered off in search of a late-opening bar. It was dead when we got there, so we took over the pool table and Jo took over as DJ. We got back to the room pretty late, but there seemed to be a party going on in the room next to us. Only 5 mins after we got in an angry little Vietnamese man was banging on their door, and about 20 people piled out. Our last morning was not to be a lie-in. We decided to go on the My Son trip which is a group of temple ruins about 50km out of the city. The ruins date back to 7th Century, but a lot were destroyed by the US in the 70's as they had no clue where the Viet Cong were, so they just bombed, burned and gassed EVERYTHING. We saw some lovely ruins and quite a few bomb craters but sadly our "English speaking guide" spoke some dialect of English that I'd definitely never heard of, so we wandered off by ourselves. That afternoon we did some final sightseeing in the Old Town, had our final fittings and picked up our new suits/jackets/shirts/coats, and a bit of a swim before boarding the bus to Nha Trang, this time with all 7 of us on board!

Halong Bay, Vietnam, 5 - 7 July 2012

After attempts at bargaining and trying to wait out a deal to get on Jos boat, I missed the boat (bu-dum-tsh) and Jen and I had to get another one. We went for one called Dugong which had a similar itinerary as Jos and the hotels on Cat Ba island were close to each other. Jo got picked up first in a transit minibus, and we got picked up later in a standard big minibus by a bloke who smelt like he'd had a big night before. The bus was full of various nationalities but it was early, so not much chatting and a lot of dozing for 4 hours to Ha Long. We left the rain in Hanoi and arrived at the dock in blistering sunshine, a good omen for the trip. A little boat ferried us to our big boat, which looked quite good, although unlike all of the brochures and pictures of the trips in Hanoi, the boats didn't have their little oriental sails up, and they weren't dark coloured with lots of wood on show, but completely painted white. Inside was 3 levels. The bottom was the rooms and kitchen, above the bar, and above that the sun-deck. The rooms were nice, lots of teak effect on show with en suite, twin beds and air-con. Lunch was served shortly after we boarded, and the unusual mix of chips, rice, chicken with veg, fried bread and omelette was brought out. Strange mix, but very good. After some grub and a bit of chatting, we went to the Surprising Cave which is 3 interconnected caves formed in limestone with lots of stalamites and stalagtites. Our guide insisted on pointing out ubiquitous looking formations and making us guess what they looked like, us always getting them wrong, especially the big lucky turtle that looked like an unlucky looking pile of cow poo. We left and got back on the little boat that took us to a few floating houses (not quite big enough to justify as village) where we got in double kayaks and went for a paddle. I confess I got a little frustrated as Jen was behind me and swore she was in time with me, but no matter, we seemed to keep changing course suddenly and often. We had a good explore though and saw some cool little caves, one of which the floating houses decided would be a prime spot to plant their satellite dish! We made it back and got back on the boat and went across to a little man-made beach on a small island. The beach was packed with Chinese/Vietnamese tourists when we arrived, all in their far-too-tight-budgie-smugglers throwing sand at each other (bloody odd). The crowds soon departed and we had a lot of the beach to ourselves, so the lanky aussie in our group tried to hire a ball so we could play volleyball, but they wanted something like USD5 to hire it for 20 mins! We all got back on the big boat and I decided to go find out about the price of the beer while Jen showered. It was USD2 per can (which is a LOT over here), so we hailed a woman in a little paddle boat over. They all sell all sorts of bits and pieces including beer! We got her down to USD1.20 each and a load of bought a shedload from her. Jen and I with Adam the Surrey plumber, Joe the lanky aussie, Mike the jock and one of the girls sat on top deck relaxing as darkness descended drinking our smuggled beers (which were perfectly cold to boot). Dinner was similar fare to lunch, but with more dishes including squid, another chicken dish and fish. After dinner and chatting around the table I still hadn't showered, so Jen and I went to our room, she read for a bit while I cleaned myself up. The fatigue got to us though as we both passed out on our beds and woke the next morning. Breakfast was taken early then we were told to pack up and get ready to go to the island. The bloke was only expecting 6 people to go to Cat Ba though, so was surprised and useless dealing with the extra 10 people telling him they were supposed to be going too. In the end those who booked to go just jumped into the boat before he could argue. We got into a minibus and were taken to Cat Ba National Park for a hike up to a summit. This wasn't really presented as optional or difficult. Quite a few barely made it up the hour climb and everyone was saturated in sweat. Nice view from the top though, then on the very narrow descent I stopped as some people going up passed, and the two French girls from tubing in Vang Vieng recognised me from when I bandaged up one of their legs and helped them to shore! Small world! We got back down, back on the bus and to Cat Ba town. More crappy organisation meant that our hotel was already booked up, so we were put in the hotel across the road. The rooms were ok but it was nowhere near as nice of a hotel as where we were supposed to stay, but it was only one night. We were to be fed in the original hotel anyway, so was ok. We ate then had an hour til a bus took us to Monkey Island. Jen is petrified of monkeys, so she decided to go in search of the beach and meet up again in a couple of hours. We had to take another boat out through a huge floating village to Monkey Island, then you had the choice of relaxing in the sea and on the beach or walking up to the top of the island to try and see the monkeys. Mike and a couple of others went walking whilst the majority of us stayed messing around in the water. After 10 mins we saw a monkey come right up to the edge of the beach. A further 20 mins later the others got back from their walk to report they'd seen sweet F.A. They weren't disappointed though as two more came down towards the beach before we left. Got back to land and the hotel and I found Jen in the room. She hadn't found the beach, but had got a bit lost and made herself a bit ill from being out in the sun so long without drinking. She stayed in the cool with a big bottle of water while I went in search of Jos hotel. I found it; the poshest on the strip, and spoke to 2 people in their rooms but couldn't reach her, so I left her a note. Later transpired that they were at that moment having their own troubles with getting a room sorted so had no set room. I went back to the waterside and sat looking out at the harbour and the sunset drinking Tiger beer. After dinner Jen was feeling faint and off still so I went to meet Jo and the others at their hotel. We all went out and they had dinner, and we all swapped stories, then found a bar with some life and happy hour! After a couple of hours a load of the guys from my boat turned up too out of the suddenly pouring rain. At around 12.30 Jo and the others decided to call it a night as they had to be up very early the next day. I walked them all back, then walked back to the bar again for a couple more drinks with my boat! Next day the rain from the previous night was only an introduction to the full blown storm now raging, and only 5 of our boat made breakfast. We then left for the boat half an hour late because our guide was absolutely useless, huffing and puffing, standing around in the wrong hotel. We told him the missing people were in the other hotel (that HE had arranged), and he eventually went over there but did nothing again, blaming "our friends". We told him we had only met them the day previously and that we didn't know what room they were in and it was HIS job to rally the group! Vietnamese organisation; love it. No logic. No common sense. Just blame. We got dropped off at the ridiculously tiny wharf (big enough for only 3 boats yet the jetty was over 100m long so could have built loads of landing bays) and clambered over 2 boats to get onto a boat (but not ours) to take us to land. Our amazing guide then got in a huff AGAIN because a English girl who was on our Perfume Pagoda trip was told by one of his colleagues to follow him, but he had no idea of how to deal with this despite it not really making any difference to him. We chatted and ate lunch on the boat, then got in another bus to whisk us back to Hanoi. We arrived in Hanoi at 5ish, and sat down for some grub before the nightbus in one of our favourite places, Gecko, where we met up with Jo and Liv. Next stop Hoi An via Hue!

Vang Vieng, Laos, 12-17 June 2012

We arrived in Vang Vieng after a very twisting and nausea inducing minibus from Luang Prabang. As luck would have it, we were in the same bus as Verena and the 4 Israelis as well as a Spaniard and Portuguese guy and a paddy couple. The latter 4 opted to stay at the guesthouse we were dropped outside whereas us others decided to look for something more central and cheaper. After far too much wandering around, we got a double room with a killer fan for £2 per night and right in the centre. We spent the remainder of the afternoon/evening watching How I Met Your Mother in the bar and drinking. Next day we decided to go tubing, but the Israelis didn't, so we left them to it, and after brekkie (and more HIMYM) we wandered down to ask about tubes and tuk-tuks to the start. We asked the right people as a Canadian couple said they were going too and their group were in a bar round the corner and for us to join in. We wandered round and found a bar going nuts full of people doing buckets and absinthe. We were handed a few buckets, I had a couple of absinthe, and we all had a dentist chair of Tiger Whisky before we even made it to the start of the tubing. These guys were further confirming that the some of the friendliest people to meet travelling are Canadians. From here in it gets a bit hazy. I remember 3 bars, jumping off some bloody high platforms, Jo flashing her boob as she tried to get out of the water, lots of bracelets, rope swings, loads of buckets, spray-painting each other, beer pong, floating about in a tube, whisky shots, running into the Spaniard who had a massive scratch across his face claiming a wolf did it, and the beautiful scenery as we floated down the river from the last bar to the end. I do vividly remember 2 French girls getting out of the water as we did, and one smashing her beer bottle and slashing her own knee in one movement. It started pissing blood so badly her whole lower leg was red, so I bandaged her up with my t-shirt and chatted French with them, but then when they asked where I was from and how I spoke French I suddenly couldn't remember anything in French anymore and couldn't utter another word! We got our tubes back with a minute to spare before we lost our deposit, wandered back to the bar where I can't remember what we ate or drank, and went to bed for a kip (it was only about 7.30). Jo woke me at 10pm, though I thought it was 10am, so when she said we were meeting Verena for a drink I bottled it and stayed in bed! The next day we were obviously awake pretty early, so we got some brekkie, hired some bikes and made for the blue lagoon some 6km away. Was a cool little place with lots of branches to jump off and rope swings and things, and a group of 50-something Aussies who we had apparently met tubing the previous day, though we couldn't remember that! After half an hour the Canadians turned up too. They were as battered and bruised as we were with similar unexplainable injuries. We chilled out there for a while, then as we cycled home 2 little local girls jumped a lift on the back of Verena and Jos bikes, cheeky sods! We spent the rest of the day doing not much, though we were grateful for the tv in our room with HBO showing movies. That night we went out to Bucket bar, where Jo returned from the bar with 5 buckets for free. We then tried another 2 bars but they were dead, so we returned to Bucket bar, had another drink, before Jo and Verena headed off to check another bar while I watched to footy for a bit before heading back to the room feeling crap from all the Tiger Whisky. Next morning we all felt crap. We did work out that Jo and I spent about £2 between us the night before though and ended up spanked! We did nothing at all really, I went and sat in another bar and watched Family Guy while Jo shopped for vests, then we watched about 5 hours of HIMYM! Following morning the weather had turned, so we were happy to leave, getting the short busride to the capital Vientiane.

Luang Prabang, Hanoi, Laos & Vietnam, 27 - 29 June 2012

Another day, another night-bus, or so it was starting to feel like. I've lost count of the sleepless nights in transit by road, and I wasn't left wanting once again. Our bus, which was a little plusher than before with sort of airline seats that fold almost flat but barely any legroom, left Luang Prabang at 6ish, and was due into Hanoi the same time the following day. By 8ish it was dark and most people were dozing, and I tried to join in, but my stupid great caucasian body wasn't designed for the kiddy-seat I was being crammed. I saw every hour around snatches of sleep, and we arrived at the Vietnam border at about 4am, so at least we weren't getting rocked about. Then some dickhead decided he wanted to listen to a song at full blare at 6.30 despite everyone still trying to sleep around him, so I whacked his arm and made a sign which to me meant "turn it off", but in hindsight I think he read as "I'm going to cut your head off". No matter, it worked. The border was another crappy no-mans-land where I guess both countries say "that's not our land" and leave it as a dirt-track. Took 2 hours to stamp a load of travellers passports, though I'm sure the guy was just opening them all up to the pictures and making them talk to each other and kiss and stuff. Back on the bus we stopped for something to eat which we opted for egg, rice and unnamable vegetable, though I pity some others who opted for pork, as the "pork" hanging up out back near the toilets (doubling as a kitchen) looked a lot like a staffordshire bull terrier. I then spent the next 6 hours laying on the floor as it was the only way I could lay down properly. 2 locals got off with 3 drinks bottles with live birds in, that they had obviously smuggled in, but not under their own seats, they got 2 travellers sat next to us to get up and produced them from under their seats. Around 7 we were told to get off the bus in the middle of nowhere, though it turned out so to get on another bus, but this one had been in a crash (that day) and had 2 big windows smashed in on the side, and glass all over the adjacent seats and floor. We eventually got off in Hanoi a total of 28 hours after setting off, and stayed at the first place we came across as it was cheap enough for us. With pretty much no evening left, we had a short walk to see what was available to eat and then went to bed. The following morning we found another cheaper place to stay, and went wandering. I found the bus I needed to get to meet Jen at the airport, and we walked all the way down to a mall with cinema. I don't know why, but we ended up watching The Amazing Spiderman. Probably because it was only $2. Was a good way to pass the hottest part of the day, and on the way back to the Old Quarter we stopped off for some Vietnamese fare and beer.

Pakse, Vang Vieng, Luang Prabang, Laos, 23 - 27 June 2012

After the slight disappointment of Don Det and the 4000 Islands, we began the long slog all the way North again. This started with a boat across the Mekong to land which then docked on a rubbish covered bank instead of the dock for some reason, so we wobbled off the teetering skiff with our big bags, and sweated our way to the minibus to take us to Pakse. We arrived at the bus station at 3pm, but our sleeper bus wasn't to leave until 8pm, so we left our bags and wandered off in search of a cafe or restaurant to chill out for a few hours. Somehow the beds on the sleeper bus seemed to have shrunk further, but I managed to get us put onto a bed made for abnormally skinny and tall people, but it at least meant I could stretch out my legs. As we'd already taken this journey, we knew how bad it was, and we weren't disappointed; I don't think it was a metalled road for more than 5 minutes of the 10 hours. Finally got into Vientiene at 6ish, then booked ANOTHER bus to Vang Vieng at 10.30am which was well overbooked, so a dozen of us sat on the side of the road to wait "15 minutes" until 12.30 for the next one. After a lot of travelling we finally rolled into a rainy Vang Vieng at 4ish. Jo remembered the name of some place from a chat with the Israelis, so we checked it out and got a huge room with air con for next-to-nothing after a bit of haggling. We had a late lunch in our old haunt Central Backpackers whilst Jo ummed and ahhed over when we should leave for Luang Prabang while I watched Friends and made committed and concerned noises. The weather was rainy and crap, so we (Jo) decided we'd get the bus the next morning. We had every intention of going to Bucket Bar that evening for free buckets and a bit of a party, but the weather coupled with the travelling made us really dozy, so after a drink and a pancake we chilled out in the room listening to music. After an unremarkable bus journey, we got to Luang Prabang in the afternoon, and after some bargaining and looking at rooms, we decided to go back to Oudomlith where Mike greeted us and showed us to our old room again. We relaxed, showered, wandered around the night market, and went down the cheap food street for a massive dinner for 80p. The next day was Jos birthday, but we'd agreed no presents, so we started the day with breakfast baguette and smoothie, then we hired some bikes and cycled around the town looking at more Vat and That that we'd missed (temples), then got some cake for lunch, but even with all the French influence, Laos people can't quite do cakes. We both got a massage, and that night we went to a restaurant for the first time in ages for dinner (courtesy of Kristina) before a bit of birthday shopping on the night market. Jo was a little apprehensive she'd feel homesick or not enjoy her birthday, but we were in the best place for it and she had a great day. Next day we did very little, lots of popping out to get food, or do washing and stuff, and we booked our bus tickets to Hanoi (flights were too expensive). Despite doing so little, it was another really nice day, Luang Prabang is such an easy place to pass the time. Spent another evening walking the night market looking for some trousers for Jo, (she didn't find any, just another dress). The 27th was our last day in Laos, and we arranged with Mike that we could have our room until 5pm as our bus wasn't until 6pm. We lounged around all morning drinking coffee, packing our bags, and watching James Bond. The day was a real scorcher, so we spent the day in perpetual movement between the astonishingly humid streets and the cool air-con solace of the room. We took a tuk-tuk to the bus station and eyed up our new home for the next 24 hours to Hanoi!